The Witch’s Interruption

Once upon a time in a kingdom far more progressive than that of Cinderella’s, lived a locksmith, a fair haired maiden, Hans the fool, and a witch.

“Hold on, what’s with the word witch? Do you realize the negative connotations of that word in a setting like this?”

But you are a witch.

“According to whom?”

Well, you know magic don’t you? Just the other day I watched your bathroom clean itself.

“Big flippin’ deal, so I learned enough that I don’t have to scrub a toilet. Who likes scrubbing toilets? Why were you peeping around my bathroom in the first place?”

I, uh…. moving on. That just proves you’re a witch.

“You change the oil in your car right?”

Well, yeah.

“So you’re a mechanic.”

Point taken. Okay well your mother was a witch.

“Yeah? Yours was a dentist.”

Touché. Nix the witch, got it. How about I identify you by occupation? So, if you’re not a witch, what do you do?

“I sell insurance.”

You’ve got to be kidding. Who needs insurance in the realm of fantasy.

“There are dragons, giants, trolls, and student carriage drivers, happily ever after doesn’t come without a price.”

Makes sense. How about I just call you a maiden of some sort?

“Do I look like a maiden to you?”

Um….

“How about you? Yeah you…eye in the sky with your coffee and unicorn pajamas. Do I look like a maiden in your mind’s eye?”

Don’t bring them into this. Let’s just use your name. What is it?

“Bernadette.”

Bernadette, seller of insurance. Once upon a-

“No, no, no, just Bernadette.

It needs flare. Can I call you Bernie or Dette?

“Do you want to see if I can turn a narrator into a stool?”

Fine, Bernadette is it. Once upon a time in a land far mo-

“Forget it, the moment is gone. I’m going inside to watch cat videos, care to join me eye in the sky? Oh, and see if you can’t talk to the writer, that title needs to go.”

Ummm, the end?