Modern Unicorn

Becoming a unicorn was a terrible idea. I thought it would be pretty cool and the spell said it would only last two days, a perfect weekend. Nope. An awful, awful idea. It has just been one problem after another. The first thing was that apparently unicorns can only eat flowers and nothing else. Not that they prefer it (I have no idea if real ones like it), I mean that it is literally the only thing the unicorn body will allow me to eat. Have you ever tasted a flower? I have. It was gross! And of course, the moment someone saw me, they wanted to kill me. Apparently any unicorn body part is worth a killing (pun intended) on the black market. Blood, horn fragments, hair, hell I even heard someone say something about my tonsils. Gross! I tried to tell the hunters that I was human, but being a unicorn, I couldn’t form human words. So instead of spending a fun, relaxing weekend prancing around in glades, I’ve been running myself ragged trying to throw the hunters off my track. Oh, and the best part of it? The spell was supposed to wear off two hours ago. Well, you know what I still am? A goddamn freaking unicorn! I want to kill whoever the hell it was that wrote that stupid spell. Speaking of which, it better wear off soon, because if another person tries to kill me for my body parts, I’m going to gore them. You want my horn so bad? Here, have it, straight through your chest!