Soft

pacing in the lobby felt like walking on a freshly frozen lake with bare feet that's how cold the house is tonight, what was I thinking? waking up at this hour, tracing my steps back wondering about the exact thought or the instance that led me out of my bed.

I started walking back to our bedroom stopping by our child's room gently opening the door, faintly walking into his room to have a look at my sweet sweet boy, clenching the snowy white blanket I knitted for him last winter, with his name stitched in my baby's favorite bright orange color on the left -hand side lower corner of the blanket. I wish I knew what he is dreaming about- playing with elves and his army of toys or simply chasing a kite in the open green grounds under the blinding sunlight.

In our bedroom, I stood by the window looking at the glimmer of the moon, like it was studded with a million diamonds, in a full beam like freedom away from all the city lights, and chaos. Not a soul in sight, in times like these our mind dives deep into our thoughts, ideas, and conversations we never remembered. All bottled deep down in our minds. Am I a good wife? Absolutely! subconsciously I started making a list of all the times I assumed I was a good wife, well the ideal perfect wife to my handsomely caring husband, the love of my life the father of my child my soulmate, my dear friend without a doubt I could not have asked for anything more. I wonder what went wrong that he became so distant, seems like a lifetime back when we were in love.

My mouth felt suddenly dry and goosebumps sprang up all over my bare arms, I heard her whisper "then why did you kill them?"