Anxiety

Sometimes the acoustics 

In my room 

Throw shade 

And I can hear traffic

Running through my brain

Surround sound tires

Screech through my open window

And the train plays a steady beat

Against my cerebral cortex

Nights like this 

I wonder if it's paranoia

Or nerves laced 

Tight by migraines

That have me listening 

To every sound in stereo 

It used to be fear

Terrifying panic 

The beating of my heart

Matched the high thunk

Of railroad ties

The empty fast clang 

Of iron wheels

And empty box cars

Sometimes sleep 

Would wait for me

At sunrise

And I could never explain

Why I was afraid 

Except that my darkness

Has always been 

A darker thing of unknowns

Than anyone could explain 

I remember the silence 

Is like waiting 

For a belt to fall

Anxiety and panic

Are apathetic mistresses

They don't care at all 

How logical I am

They'll chant their missives

Till sweat sputters 

Between clenched fingers

And the sound of 

My own breathing 

Concerns me

Has me wondering if 

I'll need oxygen before 

The night is through

And the tapping of my heart

Becomes my own 

Dance with red shoes

And I cannot stop

Beating against the 

Pavement of my thoughts

Until dawn and the sun 

convince me

I'm safe again

A Dorman