growing pains
one day you're 16, panicking because the other kids at school are sending around a video of you passed out drunk on the floor at a party a few weeks earlier
then you're 17, snorting cocaine with the hundred bill your grandma gave for christmas
then you're 18, posting porn you've titled something like "tiny blonde teen tries anal"
then you're 19, fucking your boss, happy because he's the first man to treat you like a person
then you're 20, writing a LinkedIn blog about some advancement in digital marketing that you don't really understand
you're 20, celebrating three years sober
you're 20, crying while unloading the dishwasher in your new apartment at midnight
you're 20, and people are still telling you to enjoy your youth
you're 20, and you don't know what they mean
you're 20, and your youth was never yours, just something for men to commodify
you're 20, and your youth never felt like something to enjoy, just a string of horrible things, most of them self-inflicted
you're 20, and everything is ok now but you're still not