"Is this thing on...oh..it is. Wait, how do I know if anyone's going to listen to this podcast? Anyway, I am the one who was there before the beginning- well....eh at the point of creation time was still in the works. But the moment that the two silly humans fell for the oldest trick by Morningstar- wait- Lucifer, you know who I mean. Right? The serpent, the one who ended up tricking the first living humans. First of all, they were created, and had no names by the way. I will not disclose who I am for now, (clears throat), I do not want to be fired from my current long post with big G. (chuckles)
"Ah, I am really getting off track here. Wait, did I just hear big G calling for me. Nah, I clocked out from my shift. I am not handling any work right now. I am taking a well deserved break. The rest of the crew, I hope, can manage without me delegating tasks to them.
"Oh, sorry about that folks, I need to stay on task. (sighs) Okay, maybe I can complete in telling what happened in the garden of Eden before I have to head back to my post. Right, where was I again in telling the story?
"So, there I was in awe of everything that big G had created. From every living thing- I was surrounded by a lot of wondrous new things that I could never have thought of even painting, yet alone creating out of a point with nothing existing. The only thing that was there before creation was big G. I was created by none other than big G, too.
"Alright, I will get to my point of this podcast. (grabs a piece of paper, and pencil from the office desk) I am not creative like big G to create anything. This paper, and pencil is for me to try to make some points of what went down.
"First, imagine you have just been provided with a load of information- and you are still new to Eden-but big G who sees all, and knows all, still takes a moment to give you a rundown of what you need to do. I could give the first guy created by big G a slap, I mean come on you had the whole place to yourself- you should have enjoyed it all. What did he do instead? He asked for a partner. Come on dude, seriously, why would you do that? Did you not have so many other tasks to complete? You could have worked on taking inventory of everything big G had created. Maybe if he had done that then what happened thanks to him and his partner would never had happened.
"I do not blame the guy, I guess in a way he needed someone to be by his side. (smiles) I am glad of one thing, that he stuck by her side, even though he did in a way blame her for what had happened.
"Hold on, yes, I will get to explain what had taken place. The thing was that he, our main new guy, let's call him- Abe. Abe, the first man, strikes a pretty good deal. He has a place to stay, for free, and is handed a partner. Also, for free. No bride price/fee required, or a glorious expensive wedding ceremony.
"As the two become closer, there is another who is watching them quite closely. I should share this one who was keeping a close eye on them and knew exactly what would happen if things that were placed in order ended up being introduced to chaos. He whispered into Abe's partner's ears, humming sweet words telling her how to take over the Kingdom. Yes, making a plan with the two to bring pandemonium into paradise.
"She, Abe's partner, decided to follow every little thing that she had heard from the sneaky one. Abe should have said something at least to try to stop her. After she had tried to spread the word to some others of the crew to take over, and work with the other side, big G had to step in to sort them all out.
"I tell you one thing you do not want to do is have big G coming for you. (shakes) If you think a facing a hurricane is terrifying, try facing a being that is immortal, and much more powerful than Zeus. (tries to draw a lightning bolt on the piece of paper.)
"That kind of looks like a lightning bolt. Yeah, this is one of the reasons why I would not want to try to over big G's throne. I would also not want to have to deal with handling the ones that try to challenge big G's power/might.
"Thanks for tuning into this one take of the podcast about what happened in the garden of Eden. O, before I sign off, there was an interesting latest update from the headquarters, one of the three who is from the main branch of big G's group. I guess the other term would be Big G's one, and only child, intervened on Abe's, and his partner's, plus their children's children's children- oy- the whole clan/tribe, families, people, groups...to check the list from my head, they were all pardoned for Abe, and his partner's crimes of trying to have control over everything that big G had created.
"As for the one who tried to lead the other side to create an army against big G, well let's just say big G's got this, and that one better not try to challenge big G for the umpteenth time."