Self.

Although having heard of its honorary character in Japan, I was perfectly aware of the shame my actions would bring upon my direct and even extended family here in modern day England. Unsure I was about the probabilities of whether I would cause more indignity if I were to continue my life - failing to fit in - or if I were to end it - failing to persist in pretending altogether -. In spite of all consequence, I have made my choice rationally and with full conviction. My physical being would depart this planet today; just so that my vibrational being could roam freely amongst all that is and all that I had never been allowed to encounter. One could hardly call it suicide, for it has been the standards of society that have kept me from living a single day in this life I had once been given for opposing purpose. One could hardly call it murder, for my soul had died many moons ago.