April 27, 2010

Dear Diary

Growing up i never really understood myself. How could i expect anyone to understand me. The constant fluctuations of moods, which was to be named bi-polar. But how do you name an individuals state of being, by catergorizing them of being in a state...well right now the state i am in is "?!" How do you explain that verbally. I want to be sad because i cannot figure out what to be happy about. I used to be happy, but was it truly happiness, or was it my optimisim on life. To keep a smile on my face regardless of thr obstacle. I feel an emptiness wherever i seem to travel, like the lost smell of spring. How can a person be filled with so much love inward and out and still feel so isolated. Self...do you think the more a person is distant from family is dependent on the amount of joy brought on, and why do we try to eliminate ones happiness for our own selfish needs, and whats the rush when times always by your side, sighhh who will answer these questions?