Forever Always…

By: Mohana

“I will kill myself soon. With all the calamitous memories of him dead and buried. His smile perished. The sound of his heart abandoning my love. There’s no purpose for me to live. Faith doesn’t bring memories. Faith kills another. Faith is not real.”

As I read that line over and over again. I felt a harboring grudge clinging on to me.

“Why did I let him go?”

The trees around me whispered. Hiding secrets that is one of permanence. Giving resentful looks. Children's laughter filled the sorrowful playground where I sat on the swing. All alone. Thinking about the book I just read. Memories.

“Are they even real?”

As I continued reading, the wind caressed my cheeks, reminding me that no matter what, memories will haunt you but will also make you feel loved. Before my thoughts could drown me further into the ocean of emptiness, someone sat on the swing next to me.

“Memories? Personally, I think they’ll ruin your inner aura. And don’t get me started on faith. Faith is just the broken door that many would want to open. But why?”

His voice reminded me of my comfort character casually walking in the rain, benevolently holding my hand. His familiar nostalgic voice lifted my chin up. I fell into an abyss of memories when our eyes met.

“Ezra?” I whispered with a single tear clinging on to me. We both stood up and Ezra took a step closer to me. I caught myself sinking deep into his enchanting dark amber eyes. He grabbed me into a protective hug. Stroking my hair, whispering into my ear. I felt so safe back in his compassionate arms.

“I thought you were dead!” I mumbled with my tears screaming with agony.

“I’d see you first before I die. You know that. All I have are tragic memories with you. Trauma had manipulated me into thinking memories are all miserable. I learned that they do destroy one, but they could make another live.”

The way he spoke passionately about what he had learned when I wasn't with him made regret umbrage over my happiness. He has been trying to make happy memories despite his past exposing him to dreadful ones. I then realized how much I missed his voice, his eyes, the smell of his favorite jacket. How much I missed him.

Though I despise those tragic memories that deserve to be forgotten, those memories will always have a place in my heart. Always.