H e a l i n g
A year. You’ve come a long way in the past year. But is there really a shortcut to healing? I don’t think so.
You could meditate, yoga, focus on the present, live life consciously and with purpose with your pure intention and the love that’s wanting to burst inside you - come on, you could do all that.
But what happens when the memory washes down on you in an instant?
The memory of the pain - emotionally, mentally, and physically feeling it all at once, hitting you just at the core where it hurts the most.
The fear of feeling all of that again,
of not having the power to stop it,
of not knowing when to stop triggering it,
of not knowing when you are going to value your worth again.
It may not be difficult. But hell it ain’t easy too.
Hearing the same words echo in your head everytime you wake up with a bad dream. A dream that all feels too real, because it’s dreams of your past reality, of your body’s memories, your heart aches.
The harshness of the cold bruises that’s brought you down to your knees and begged God to stop the pain, or to just take your life because you cannot take it anymore.
The bitterness of the hands and the words that slapped you, making you lost sanity in what’s real and what’s not, but to just keep on going because this is where your soul is directing you - even if you want to stand against it.
Because it was all so tiring, and oh so painful.
but you kept on going,
month after month, day after day.
You’re getting there, taking small steps to healing.
And when it hits you like a big rock blocking the road,
remember it’s okay. It’s only been a few months.
surely, no one could recover fully in the span of six months, right?
Remind yourself it’s okay if it still hurts sometimes.
It’s okay if you break down after a peaceful time.
Welcome the feeling. Embrace it, accept it.
And even with the fear crawling up your heart, let it go.
It’s not your present anymore. Look around you.
Look inside you. You’ve made mistakes.
You’ve hurt other people,
and they’ve hurt you too, but don’t let this define you.
It can be hard to find yourself again, after losing so much of you in the process.
It can be hard to believe you’re blossoming into the beautiful lady you are.
It can be hard to accept your truth sometimes.
Cause there will always be voices in your head.
And these are just voices.
Are you sure it’s presently yours?
Your truth is within you. And once you’ve learned to listen to your truth,
and embrace it with love and compassion, deeper and deeper you go…
These wounds won’t matter anymore.
These voices won’t have control over you anymore. They never had.
You won’t have to look in the mirror to believe that you, my love, are beautiful.
So is your truth. And everything that comes with you.