To the ghost that haunts me

I must have written this letter a thousand times. In a hundred different ways and still the words I want to speak escape me. And still I try, knowing you will never see this or any other that I write. A ghost who haunts my memories. Fading as time passes but never forgotten. I wonder if you are watching over me from the vast spaces of nothingness. Sometimes the thought reassures me. Others it embarrasses me. I wonder if it was you who whispered in my ear. An uncharacteristic move brought with it a familiar face sitting at the bar. Drunk. In need of a friend. He told me he was sorry for the accident. It should have been him instead of you. A weight and chains that held him down for years. And when I said there was nothing to be sorry for. It wasn't his fault. That you would not blame him either. The bonds fell away in a visible relief. And your brother smiled. A smile much like yours. And I was smitten. United by law and tragedy. And for that I say thank you my little ghost. Trapped in time never to see past the age of 23. I really do miss you.