a list of liquids (with explanations of their significance)

1. rubbing alcohol

she's five and on the pavement, clutching her knee and bawling like there's no tomorrow. there's the taste of tears, of course, but that's nothing new; she cries a lot. no, what's new is the sting that makes her want to cry all over again.

years later, she finds that rubbing alcohol is not, in fact, horrible, and learns to bite her lip when she's disinfecting a cut.

but the stinging pain remains.

2. red wine

she is elegance and sophistication, and she lives by one rule: never turn down a new year's kiss. now she's finally at an Official New Year's Party and there's a tall blond boy with glasses pressing his lips against hers because his boyfriend left and he doesn't want to be alone tonight.

his lips taste like cheap red. what a shame; she really does prefer champagne. even though she wouldn't find it at a college party as lame as this one (the fact that he managed to find anything other than cheap beer is amazing in itself).

after it's over, she finds he's not a bad guy, and they end up friends.

she still can't forget the taste of wine on his lips.

2.5. champagne

the good thing about having a moderately paying job and no roommates is that she can treat herself and not have to worry about people judging her. today is a day in which she's feeling particularly "nostalgic", so she locks her apartment door and brings out an elegant glass and two bottles of expensive champagne, and ignores what is probably the sound of Tall Blond Boy loudly knocking on the door shouting at her to "stop fucking drinking, oh my god, you have friends that you can talk to and we all know you're lonely, just please come out".

either that or it's just the pounding in her head.

(probably the latter.)

3. IV fluids, consisting of water and dissolved electrolytes

except this time she's not drinking it because she had too much champagne and now the only thing she drinks is purified water and what's supposed to be solid food provided by the hospital.

Tall Blond Boy comes and visits with his boyfriend, who decided that after sixteen months, fourteen days, and two hours without his darling "salt boy", he'd had enough.

well actually, they got back together because she called Tall Blond Boy's (then ex) boyfriend and told him to go make out with each other already, because Tall Blond Boy looks awful and smells even worse, and if i have to deal with this unsophisticated bullshit any longer i think i might explode.

Tall Blond Boy and Co. give her the usual talk about not drinking too much, blah blah blah, all with their fingers intertwined like those rose vines she tried growing in the fire escape. 

at least that's one success story, she thinks, as she asks a nurse if pizza can be delivered to hospitals.

4. bleach (diluted, thankfully)

because the thing is, no one really warns her about what it's like when your own sister almost dies because some shithead squeezed a wet wipe into her water bottle. A wet wipe! and thank goodness she knew how to use google and got little Emily to the hospital, or else who knows what could have happened? the doctors sure didn't.

but then she thinks oh no, is this what it feels like to almost lose someone? that's horrible and vows never to play with poisons so dangerously again, even if they sparkle like diamonds under harsh light (because that's usually a sign that she's had enough for tonight, yes she would like a ride home).

instead, she keeps her door unlocked and invites everyone to movie night (with junk food!). even that asshole who'd probably fuck an alien.

her life's not perfect (yet), but it's still a hell of a lot better than what it used to be.

(A/N: to everyone expecting a sad ending: please, love yourself.)