Fixed

A recent discovery of mine is an application that allows me to alter my pictures. I can "fix" every flaw, correct all of myself.

What have I done?

At first I was ecstatic. I "fix" a family picture we take while visiting my grandmother. My mother is overjoyed. She orders me to "fix" all of her pictures too.

I start to go back. "Fixing" myself. I thin my arms, pull in my stomach, shrink my breasts. I post a picture or two. Wondering, hoping, someone will notice. It isn't me. Whiter teeth, and unblemished skin. Toned figure that comes with dedication I have never possessed.

Like after like. Compliment after compliment. No one seems to notice. They all approve.

Does it matter? That these people I seldom see, perceive me as something I'm not. As different than I am. More traction on a picture that isn't real.

I stare in the mirror. No makeup. Uncombed hair. I see red irritation. I see cheeks that are too round. I see an almost invisible jaw line.

I look down at my phone at a picture I have "fixed". I wonder which one is me.

I turn away from the mirror.