Better than Cookies and Milk

In every society there exists a scale, a measure of beauty that most do not dare to comprehend. Those who dared to give it a name called it the Scoville Scale. At the top of this scale was a man called Carolina Reaper. Something about him transcended the mortal boundaries of hotness. His mere presence was enough to part the crowds of people like Taco Bell parting an unsuspecting victim's asshole to make way for the flood.

He had accepted his lonely life, even if his parents did not. He knew true love could only be born through authenticity. And as his parent's marriage grew weak, he became even more convinced of this fact. They were hot-headed youth who wanted to give birth to a new era of heat. Yet just like everyone else, they couldn't handle him.

His mom tried pairing him with Ramen, a girl with blonde curly hair, but rather than mellowing him out, she became spicier instead. It was the exact opposite of what his parents wanted.

The cycle would only repeat itself. His parents would select some well-mannered girl. Carolina would scare them away, or worse, "convert" them. Then his parents would lecture him on how he'll never find love "with that attitude."

He, knew, though, that he didn't need someone to mellow him out. He needed someone who could handle him, and no one seemed to be able to do that. Even Aqua, his parents' favorite (as if she was a horse to be bet on in a race) couldn't handle the intensity of his stare. He was convinced his parents were right, and he'd die alone— until he met Leche.

His parents didn't like Leche. Rumor had it she'd poisoned a few people, had them glued to the toilet bowl for hours with diarrhea. But Carolina understood: some people couldn't handle her. Just like some people couldn't handle him.

She was never afraid of him, but she definitely didn't like him. Leche had watched from a distance all his failed relationships, and told herself that she'd never fall for such a man. Her first love, John Cook, or as she called him, Cookies, was by definition a bad relationship. She used to think he was the sweetest thing on earth. But his ups came with downs. For every bouquet of flowers, there was a screaming match to go along with it. A crash after a sugar high.

However, Carolina never tried to woo her with flowers. He never pretended to be sweet. He was authentic, in all his fiery glory. And Leche, as much as it surprised her, found herself falling for him.

Carolina, of course, fell as well. Leche never tried to change him. And he never found himself glued to a toilet with a bad case of the runs, so he considered himself lucky.

His parents were pissed, at first. But Carolina and Leche were never ones to back down.

They fit together perfectly.

Much better than Cookies and Milk.