Patriotism – A Mother’s Perspective

American soldiers involved in the Civil War through Viet Nam, frequently did not have a choice about going into the fight. Whether they believed in the reason for it or not, Conscription said they went. When the soldiers returned, we had parades for them, shot confetti in the air. We called them heroes and told them they were patriotic. We stood proudly during the post war celebration, oblivious to the gall we had to ever insist that the soldiers experience what we hadn’t; and then spin it as if they chose patriotism.

I think about young people who are raised, now, with the idea that joining the volunteer service is patriotic. They enlist and head to Iraq or Afghanistan buoyed by the love and respect shown them for fulfilling their patriotic duty. Then, they find it isn’t what they thought it would be because patriotism is an ideal and those who said otherwise are sitting in the comfort of their homes.

We romanticize war: “I love a man in uniform,” the picture of the nurse and sailor kissing on D-Day, the heart breaking letters home, even Taps at the burials. We’re caught up in this chivalrous story of saving the good guy from the bad, EXCEPT that’s usually being spouted by someone who isn’t going to see fighting. Mom, Grandma, Aunt Suzy – “I’m so proud of Danny going off to war for his country.” Sometimes, it feels like we’re all saying what we’re programmed to say. Be honest: Who the heck wants her son to see war? How can that ever be a good thing?

We need to stop the fairy tale and tell our kids the truth: it’s a commitment like none you’ve ever made. Grandma can taunt you about your cousin beating you over there, all she wants; she’s not going. God love Aunt Suzy, but she hasn’t put herself in harm’s way, the way she thinks you should do. Let’s get real; it’s just poetic, this thing called patriotism. Know that once you step on that plane to boot camp, the ideal evaporates. Then, it’s really real and it’s your life that you could possibly lose with your heroism forgotten to all but those closest to you. And most honestly, if something should happen to you, no love of country can ever replace the child of my love - and I don’t care who says otherwise.