A Feat of Courage [Full Story]

Gerald laughed. It wasn’t a genuine laugh. It was one of those fake laughs that were meant to mock you; I knew. It bit at me, it really did. He wasn’t taking me seriously.

“That’s it? He fucked your girl?” He looked at the house and shook his head, his mocking smile static. “You’re willing to pay me for that?”

I scowled at him. Why was he questioning me? Why did he give a shit?

“Yes, that’s it. Got him off a million ways, probably. She did what she did. Isn’t that enough?”

He looked at me. His stupid smile was gone, I noticed. “There’s a lot of answers to that, depending on who you ask…”

I looked back at the house. I was parked under a tree where the streetlights didn’t shine on me. There were no cars on the house’s driveway but I knew that the prick’s car was still missing. He’d be coming soon, though.

“Well, it is for me…” I said. I heard Gerald sigh.

“Listen, kid. People make stupid, eh… decisions. All the time. Getting pounded by some guy behind your back, for example. Or risking getting arrested all because some guy plowed your girl behind your back.”

I looked at him sharply.

“Not a cop, no.” He shook his head. He didn’t even bat an eye as he said that. Plus, I had already told him my intentions so he had enough evidence against me. He had done nothing so far. He continued, “My point is, do you really want to have this on your back? What about the girl? Won’t she have an ounce of common sense to notice it’s a bit odd her little lover died soon after you found out? She does know, right?”

“I think she does.” This guy was getting on my nerves. I didn’t come here to get moral advice from a hired gun. “How many people have you killed?”

If Gerald was taken aback by the question, he didn’t show. “Nice try, kid. You’re young. So is this Casanova guy. What do you get out of this? They’re going to trace this back to you. What are you going to do, then? You rat me out, you’re dead. They won’t find me; I’ll make sure of that. I’m not a lawyer. You’re on your own after the trigger’s pulled, you understand me?”

The condescending tone is what got to me, really. He didn’t think I thought this through? It was the same condescending tone Jane used when she told me to stop being so paranoid about where she was going out at night, too. I balled my hands into fists. “Are you going to do it or not?” My voice was cold.

Gerald looked at me with his mocking smile. He was about to say something when I saw his gaze drift towards Casanova’s house. I turned and saw the car go up the driveway. My heart started to pound.

“Okay, this is it.” I said.

“First the money.” Gerald said.

“Glove compartment.”

He opened the compartment and found a brown paper bag. I had seen it in movies so I just did what seemed right. He took the pocket knife next to the paper bag in his hand and looked at me. He chuckled and threw it back in the compartment. Gerald made no comment on the paper bag cliché, though, and counted the money. He nodded. With my heart in my throat I let out a nervous laugh. My palms were sweating and when I turned my head for a moment I thought I was about to have stroke. Jane was getting off the douchebag’s passenger seat. I stopped laughing.

“Hmm… Two people? That’s not what you said.” Gerald said. He said it sarcastically, I knew. Why couldn’t he take me seriously?

“I know what I said!” I yelled as I punched the steering wheel.

“Double the price.”

“Just do it!”

“I don’t leave witnesses. Double the price or nothing happens.”

I knew what he was doing. He obviously knew I didn’t have that much money on me. I looked back at the house and saw Jane behind the asshole as he opened the door. My throat was in a knot. She was with him. After she told me not to worry and that she loved me. I shot my hand at the glove compartment and Gerald grabbed my arm quick as quick can be.

“Remember who has the gun here. You reach for that knife and I’ll break your arm.” Gerald said in such a low voice I almost leaned in to hear him. I was getting stepped on again. Like piss on the floor. I tried to pull my arm back but Gerald was strong.

“Let go of me…” I said in a choked voice. I hated how weak I sounded; I hated how weak I was. “Let GO!”

After a while, he let go. I didn’t want to cry. I wasn’t going to cry. All the while Gerald just looked at me.

“I know people like you. Insecure. Spineless. Think that being an asshole to everyone around you means you’re strong. Think that maybe hiring someone to do your dirty work is a feat of courage… It’s not.” He took out his gun and looked at it. I shifted in my seat. “You better find a way to get that guy alone.” He opened the door and got out of the car. I took the pocket knife from the glove compartment and got out. Gerald was standing by the side of the car looking over at the house.

“I’ll do it.” I said. Gerald laughed. This time the laugh was real. I’m not sure which laugh insulted me the most.

“Oh, will you?” Gerald said. “Why did you hire me, then? You could do it yourself.”

“I paid you,” I said. “Now, are you going to do it or not?”

Gerald looked back at the house and snorted. He nodded as he put the silencer on his gun. I noticed I was breathing heavily. We walked towards the house. When I reached the door, I looked around and saw that Gerald was in front of the douchebag’s car which was parked about five feet to the left of the door. Gerald nodded again. I looked back towards the door and knocked. I waited…

My breathing was getting heavier and all I could think about was the stuff Jane was doing to him. I knocked again, harder. I noticed the peeping hole on the door and stepped to my right, kneeling under the window. After a good while, the door opened slightly.

“Who is it?”

It was him. I stood in front of the doorway again but I didn’t answer him. I just stood there.

“Reuben? Is that you?” he said it loudly, I noticed. He might think I’m an idiot, but I knew he was doing it to warn Jane. The knot in my throat was back. I said nothing. “I’m… What are you doing around here? It’s late!”

He wasn’t exactly worried but I could sense his unease. My grip on the pocket knife was painful and my hand was shaking. “Busy tonight?”

“Uh, kinda, yeah…” the idiot looked back over his shoulder and then opened the door more. “Next time you come around you tell me, buddy, okay? What is it?”

What hurt me most, I think, was that he kept playing the role of a friend. I let out an uneasy laugh. I just couldn’t believe it. He stood there with arched eyebrows. I was going to lure him out and then Gerald could do his work. But I couldn’t help myself.

“I know what you’re doing.” I said. I could see the fucker’s face change. My voice was shaky again. “You think I wouldn’t notice, you asshole?”

His face was back to normal, though. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Good night.” He was about to shut the door when I held it open with my hand. “I’m going to ask you to let go of the door nicely.”

I just stood there with the door in my hand. The door was shaking with both of our strength pulling at the door. “If you don’t leave I’m going to call the cops. Reuben, let go—”

I pulled the door with all my might as suddenly as I could and it took him by surprise, just like I wanted. He stumbled outside and the door slammed against the wall. He tried to push me but I took him down with me. We fell on his front steps and I pulled out the knife. When he saw it I saw his eyes bulge out. He stood up lightning quick and kicked me in the ribs. As he was backing up, he looked towards his car and saw Gerald with his gun pulled out.

“No, please! NO!” I heard two dull shots and a dull thud as his head hit the blood-splattered wall.

As that happened, I saw through the open door as Jane poked her head out of some hallway. As quickly as I could, I slammed the door shut. I wasn’t sure if she saw me.

“Time to go, kid.” Gerald said as he put the gun back in his pocket. I felt such an adrenaline rush as I stood up I thought my head was going to explode. Suddenly, the door opened. Then she saw the body and the knife hanging limply from my hand. She screamed and ran back into the house. I heard as she locked the door. I started to panic.

“Gerald… Gerald, she saw me!” I looked back at the car and Gerald was already about to go.

“That’s on you, buddy.” Gerald said. “That’s one body for the price of one.”

I almost threw up. “Please, I’ll pay you later! PLEASE!”

“Sorry. I only take money up front.” Gerald smirked. “Goodbye, Reuben.”

I tried to open the door.

“Shoot the doorknob! Do it! Please!” I was begging but I didn’t care.

He looked at me for a while. He walked calmly towards the door and then past it. He reached for the window and jabbed at it with his gun. I heard Jane scream inside. He did it several times and the window was broken.

“Our mind’s stupid when we panic.” Gerald said.

I got into the house, careful not to get cut by the broken glass. I saw as Jane ran from the living room towards a hallway to the right. I ran after her. She was about to reach the door to the left at the end when I caught her. She had her cell phone to her ear but she dropped it as I slammed her into the nightstand at the end of the hall. The mirror on the nightstand was shaking. Her back was towards me and I had her grabbed by the arm.

“Please, let me go! I’ll do anything you want! Anything you want! DON’T!” she screamed.

I gritted my teeth. She was giving a good fight. I wanted to let her go. I wanted to go. I didn’t want to be there. I could have been at home. But all the thoughts that came to me were of her doing everything she hadn’t done for me to the douchebag. All her sweet words had meant nothing. Nothing. That was what bit at me the most. And so, the tears came. And so did the knife against her back. She uttered a gasp; I pulled the knife out and turned her around.

Insecure. Spineless.

I looked into her green eyes. Eyes that I had, funnily enough, found to be one of the prettiest I had ever seen were now ugly. Ugly, red and glassy. My eyes were ugly, too. I was crying. So was she. We were crying for different reasons, though.

“I love you…” she lied.

I pushed the knife in once again. Jane never lied again. Her eyes never left mine as she slid down onto the floor. I looked at myself in the mirror. The only blood that was on me was on my arm and some on my shirt. I didn’t have a crazy look, if I was being honest with myself. Just as Jane didn’t have a guilty look when she cheated on me. Just because we don’t see things doesn’t mean they’re not there. I saw the cell phone on the floor and suddenly remembered Jane had probably called the police. Then I looked at myself. I had grabbed Jane. I had grabbed the doorknob. My fingerprints were everywhere. I turned around and saw Gerald in the living room.

“Hmm… You killed her.” He said, almost amused.

“Help me with the bodies.”

“Nah, don’t think I will. This is on you. Doesn’t mean you didn’t surprise me, though. Didn’t think you’d do it. Pretty girl, by the way. No wonder that guy wanted her.”

“Gerald, I’ll turn you in if you don’t… Where are you going?”

I followed him outside and found myself with a choked voice again.

“Please, Gerald! The police will know—”

“You threaten me to turn me in and you ask for my help?” Gerald snarled. “Killing doesn’t make you brave. You’re still a weakling, through and through.”

Gerald looked at me for a long time. He looked at me as he would a dirty, wounded rodent. Up and down; shaking his head.

“I’ll give you a choice, kid. You got many but you’re an idiot and you don’t see them. So here’s what I give you. If you’re stupid enough to mention me to the cops, not only will the police get nowhere, but I will find you and I will murder you. So you’re first choice is to run far, far away and pray to all the gods you’ve ever believed in to never get caught. But let’s face it, you probably will.”

He stood silent. I wasn’t going to ask him what the next choice was. That’s what he wanted. We stood looking at each other for a long time. The cops were coming and he was taking his time. Finally, I broke. “What’s the second choice?!” He looked at me for another while.

“I kill you. A straight shot to the head. Make you part of the murder scene. I’ll even be nice and take away the knife. You’ll be just another victim of an odd killing spree.”

I thought I heard sirens. I wasn’t sure. This guy was cold. I wiped a tear as it went down my cheek and I heard Gerald snort.

“Got a soft spot, eh? Whenever you’re ready, softy. The cops will be around any minute and I’ll be gone.” He took out his gun and pointed it at my head.

I looked down at the body of the douchebag cheater. Gerald stood unblinking in front of me. I looked into the barrel of the gun. I prayed to every god I had ever known for an answer.

I love you…

I loved you, too, Jane.

I heard sirens in the distance.