Numbers Freak

Pondering strange body pains while I down my third Maker's

which completely negates anything credible I'm thinking right now

considering I've been drunk for three weeks straight

-ritual became habitual-

and looking for a way out

I laid in bed this afternoon and counted the days until my 44th birthday

if I start clean tomorrow

I have 43 days to be 43

Then at 44 I will have had 43 days of no booze, no sugar, no dairy or grain or damage

4 + 4 = 8

-and adding that entire equation

together

it becomes my day of birth

16,

which is my favorite number

-P is the 16th letter in the alphabet

-I was born in Peoria

-raised in Phoenix

-writing on Prose.

and 43 + 44 is 87

and 1987 was when

my mom died and the whole

family exploded to shit

and I spent 25 years sifting through

reality and bullshit before

the writing ultimately

paid out

not that it had to

plagues usually don't pay

2 + 5 = 7

lucky, after all

if I believed in luck

drink #4 gone

mentally gearing

for 43 days of grace

sweat

words without the fog

maybe even longer

-clean blood,

because regardless of what I say

right now

I owe the words

my cleanest

blood.