Work and Fear
Its been a couple of days since I have had a weird dream but everyday I wake up in pure fear, of what I dont know. I try to think of good and happy thoughts but nothing helps. At times I get cold and at times I feel pain in my body.
Today its the same. Pain and fear. I try to get it off my mind but still nothing. I quickly get ready and head out the door and take a taxi since im to scared to drive.
I arrive at the office trying to stay positive and collected but pain starts to rise at my head. I dont know what to do. Im scared and in pain. I quickly head in and sit down trying to stay awake and alive. I slowly reach for a drawer from my desk and grab some pain killers.
"Neli." I hear my named being called.
I try to get up but no use. Im scared.
Realization hit me. I dont know whats wrong with me. But I do. That dream wasnt a dream its was an image.
"Mac!" I shout his name.
I hear him coming. "Whats wrong? Neli. Neli? Are you okay?"
He tries to get a response from my but I stay put. I lean on my desk head resting and arms covering my head.
"Mac..." I whisper in pain. "It hurts." Now im tearing up. " it hurts."
"Aneli...." His voice is soft. Immediately he knows whats happening. He reaches to me and takes me to the private room. He sits me down and closes the door gently making sure no noise is heard. Closing the blinds he comes over to me and crouches down to me. "Aneli?"
"'Mac.... I can feel the pain." I sit up but still hurting. This time though its fading. Slowly.
Mac stays quite one hand on my knee putting pressure.
"I saw it couple nights but couldnt believe. I thought it was a dream.... I can feel the pain. The hurt. The pulsing on my head." I pause. "Her head. Her pain. Her fear. "
"Aneli..."
Tears running down my eyes. I couldnt hold it in. I was no longer scared. I was me again and myself was scared for her. Sorrow. I couldnt help but sob.
I just felt someone dying but worse. I just felt her get murdered.
"I felt her getting hurt, getting killed. I just felt her getting murdered."