Priorities

A common thread I've noticed lately in life is prioritization. This involves focusing on certain things over other things based on what holds the most importance to you. If you look at anything in life - from an individual to an entire nation - it's pretty easy to see what their priorities are based on how they choose to spend their time, energy, and money.

For example, in my current career in project management I can look at our various teams and see what projects they devote most of their hours and budget towards; those are their priorities. In my personal life I'm choosing to spend not a small sum right now on personal training because regaining my health / good habits is a priority for me. In my former marriage I realized my husband was devoting most of his time into overtime at work, and most of that money earned into one-sidedly chosen home repairs. He now owns a nice house which stands empty because he was too busy to notice the happiness of his family while he focused on career and concrete patterns. However those were his priorities - so that's how it played out.

Right now I've been looking for something to do with my life since giving up on the traditional path of family and have considered going back to school to reboot my career. Since myself and many I've loved have struggled with mental health issues I looked into becoming a licensed therapist - master's degree level only, nothing higher. I figured I'd never afford a doctorate either financially or time-wise; I'm already getting older and would prefer to spend more time in the field doing than in a school studying.

However, after completing my FAFSA (Free Application for Federal Student Aid) and the required tutorial course on financial loan literacy the government has very clearly explained to me that going back to school makes zero financial sense. My ability to repay my loan given my chosen degree is dubious; the suggestions instead were to look for certifications or other options that might have a greater return on investment. I already make enough money so going into debt to make the same amount of money in another career field that is riddled with bureaucratic hurdles isn't recommended.

Now, is there a need for that particular career field? Given the amount of mental health issues spawned post-COVID, the amount of burnout in the current professional pool, and the fact that per the news most states are way below the number of suggested care professionals per person - I'd say probably yes. But per the government it makes no financial sense. It's not a priority right now to fund that profession. It still pays less than the money put into it. We're not even looking at social work or other helping professions - those make even less.

One might argue it makes no sense to begin with for an older person transitioning their career - to which I'd like to remind you that the government is steadily increasing the age limit to access any type of Medicare or Social Security benefits, so that's a joke. Someone who starts off at twenty in a chosen field and burns out by thirty-five hasn't provided any more years to an industry than someone at forty who goes back in and works till they're sixty or older. And given how little there will be left of either Medicare or Social Security my plan is to work till death; I'll never afford to retire. So if I stave off dementia as long as humanly possible that's potentially another full thirty or forty years working, which some smarter twenty-year old who made better life choices and retired in their sixties would have offered anyway.

However, I have to sit with this decision now and the knowledge that even FAFSA thinks this is a bad idea. Chasing a master's degree to become a professional is a bad financial decision, period. How many other professions are necessary but too expensive to afford educating a workforce? We assume doctors and nurses make good money so those professions provide a good return on investment - but do they? And forcing people to go into debt to do the work we need them to do - how does that make economic sense?

According to FAFSA it doesn't. The suggestions provided on the government website include looking at certifications or two-year programs that might provide a better and cheaper alternative for my career advancement (point of clarification: they mean a two year Associate's degree, not a two year Master's degree, even though either would be two additional years on top of my four already wasted in college). Moreover they suggest your student debt payment be only 8% of your gross income upon graduating - numbers they couldn't make work when I plugged in all my data.

According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, prices for college tuition and fees are 1,482.04% higher in 2023 versus 1977 (a $296,408.29 difference in value). In other words, college tuition costing $20,000 in the year 1977 would cost $316,408.29 in 2023 for an equivalent purchase.

Now, for all those Boomers out there who grew up thinking life was hunky-dory I'd like you to understand that bit of math right there. Your professionals - the doctors who treated you, the lawyers who defended you, the specialists who cured you - cost waaaaaaaaaaaaay less than the same professionals would today. In Capitalist terms, you could afford educated professionals.

Now we can't.

[Hint: And if you're wondering why the labor market keeps begging those cheap, debt-free Boomers to stay in the professional sector you can see why -- they're way cheaper! New kids saddled with debt are going to demand higher wages to compensate.]

Add to this the fact that due to rising costs above and beyond college tuition, families have started putting off things like children either later in life or indefinitely and the U.S. birth rate is falling accordingly. This means fewer people to chase fewer professions to help a rapidly aging population that - universal healthcare or no - will probably end up waiting on their so-called "death lists" just due to basic functions of supply and demand.

If you think this is all paranoia from a crazy person I'd like to point out the fact that in the past ten years I have had no less than seven assigned doctors - not because I was a picky patient, but because all seven of my doctors left / quit / resigned after less than two years. They're overworked, underpaid given the economic situation they find themselves in, and there was no way to sway them. As a result I haven't had steady or consistent healthcare at any point in my life since entering my twenties - and I'm not betting on it as I age either. My senior care plan at this point as an American is to buy a gun and name it "Darkness" as it will be my old friend who sees me off when I can no longer work and afford the unregulated and rapidly rising costs of living here. I've seen the increasing numbers of elderly entering the homeless population as investment brokers buy up mobile home parks. I know what awaits me.

But back to my point - priorities. We're not prioritizing mental healthcare professionals any more than other care professionals who arguably should spend more time in school or training. If you think merit-based scholarships can cure the problem they're not doing their work either; per the numbers, only 25% of college students receive them (which is a high estimate - other datasets show less) and for graduate students the number drops to less than 10%. The idea that if you work hard your talent will be rewarded was a myth busted a long time ago for me. If I could go back and tell my dumb ass straight A student self anything it would be "Don't bother stressing - this won't pay off for you in the end anyway."

So what careers would be prioritized for me, if licensed therapist isn't one? Well if you want the big money you gotta go all the way - doctorate level; not just a therapist but a pill-pushing psychiatrist. Nurses now are even expected to complete more and more years of education to keep their earning potential and licenses. I'm not even bothering to enter in numbers for that amount of student debt. There's no way in addition to losing another four years of my rapidly decreasing work life that I can get that done. Sorry younger me. You bet on the wrong career horse.

I could if inclined just stick to my boring / unfulfilling desk job doing shit that honestly means nothing to me but pays the bills. That would seem to be the smart course. If I feel listless I could go volunteer and feel better about myself. I've tried that before; it's not awful I just don't have much energy at the end of a grinding and ultimately meaningless workday. I always thought when I retired that'd be what I could devote my days towards, but sadly that's not going to happen either. If there's no energy or money for it now there won't be later - so oh well.

My friends who love and support me (and whose children have been on waitlists for therapy for three years) suggest literally going-for-broke and just doing it anyway. The debt can sit there, who cares. We're all dying in some form of debt or debtor's squalor and if we're not enjoying life what's the point anyway? It's not the smart, rational, or fiscally responsible decision. It's just the fuck-it-why-not one.

Which means all I would have to do is ignore the unhelpful bureaucracy, the predatory college recruiters, the jaded professionals, and the jacked economy to go chase something that could leave me worse off than before.

But hey - I've already been married. What's one more expensive mistake?

Maybe it's time to try out some new priorities.