The Scarecrow’s Face

Someone invariably drives past Ted Warren’s farm on Route 61, ever since the detour signs were put up due to construction on Interstate 80 West. Eighty-something miles, but state highway officials failed to put up mile markers to indicate the actual distance to reconnect with the Interstate, other than signs that read: I-80 (with an arrow overhead meaning straight ahead).

When you drive past the Warren farm, you might get lucky and catch a glimpse of his daughter, Allie, standing alongside the road entrance to the Warren home. She walks up and back the one-mile dirt road, six times a week to get the mail.

Today wasn’t any different.

Driving along Route 61, a two-lane highway (not in the best of shape), that now served as a temporary Interstate to all weary travel bound souls. A road that serves its purpose from the last stopping point, eighty miles back, that will take you where you want to go, but don’t look for a gas station or a Burger King anywhere close by. When you left out of Shinto, about six miles from the Warren farm, that’s it until you’ve driven that eighty-something miles. So, if you didn’t gas up first, good luck pal.

Driving along the beat-up two-lane blacktop, Route 61 and Lenny Mills were already good friends. He gassed up when he was supposed to in Badger and took off down the road. He had the top down on his ’57 Classic T-Bird, radio blaring Oldies but Goodies, and he was singing along word for word with whatever was playing, singing terribly. Lenny knew all the old tunes. Lenny could tell you practically anything about anything.

Trivia is his specialty.

Be it magic, world history, politics, it didn’t matter. Movies, songs, actors and actresses, presidents; didn’t matter. Lenny has a computer for a brain. His friends sometimes describe his brain as a mental rolodex. Lenny could tell you about little-known origins such as: how Dr. Pepper, the soft drink was invented, that there never was a real Betty Crocker, and other than Gerald Ford never elected president, America had a president pro-temp for one day March 4, 1849. His name was David Rice Atchison. Zachary Taylor refused to take the oath on the Sabbath, so Atchison, who was a Senator for sixteen terms, from no place less than Frogtown, Kentucky, sat in the White House for one day as the Commander-in-Chief. How about them apples!

If Lenny didn’t know something, he made it a point to know what it was. “One never knows when one may be on Jeopardy,” he would say and then laugh.

Lenny wasn’t driving fast, about fifty, and it was a lucky thing, or he would have missed a passing glance at Allie. Instead, he applied the brakes and slowed to a stop a few feet from her, turned down the radio and watched her as she turned down a dirt road next to a gate opening, facing away from Route 61.

Lenny yelled out and Allie stopped and turned, holding her right hand over her eyes to shield them from the sun, giving her a better view of who yelled at her from the car.

“Hello, pretty lady. Could you tell me how much further I have before I connect with the interstate again?”

Pretty was an understatement. Yellow-gold spun hair (natural), the bluest of eyes, country tanned skin giving her tight body that wholesome appeal. Lenny figured she couldn’t be any more than twenty, tops.

“Not rightly sure, mister. Maybe ninety or a hundred miles. Never been that far up 61 to know for sure.”

She stared at the plates of his car.

“What state’s the beehive state, mister?”

“Utah. I’m on my way back to teach at the University in Salt Lake.”

“What do you teach?”

“History. All the things most students will swear doesn’t help them in the real world to land that multi-million dollar a year career.” Lenny flashed his winning smile.

Allie smiled back.

“You been on the road long?”

“I started out last night around six,” Lenny looked at his watch. “I’d say about twenty hours. I gassed up in your little town back there, Shinto. When I’m not teaching, I live about forty miles east of Chicago. Living in Utah can be such a pain. More for me to do in Chicago than I ever could, especially in Salt Lake.”

“You must see some interesting things while driving. So tell me, mister, what do you think of our Nebraska flatlands?”

You’re the best thing I’ve seen so far, he wanted to say.

“Please, call me Lenny.

“Compared to the mountains in Utah, it’s flatter than a pancake. When you compare it to Chicago, a city where the fun never ends, Nebraska seemed dull. Don’t get me wrong; in some respects, it’s refreshing. Quiet. Let me say it’s a nice place to visit, but I wouldn’t want to stay long.”

Unless it was you, I’d be staying for, he thought, smiling at Allie the whole time.

An older Dodge DeSoto pickup came bellowing up the road and stopped short a few feet away from Allie and Lenny’s car. A man, about eight inches taller than Lenny, who stood six-foot even, stepped from his dusty and battered truck that Lenny realized it was 1949, clutch on the column with a Botham engine. But for the moment, Lenny thought he might be in trouble for talking to the man’s wife, or daughter. He had to be her father. He looked too old to be anything more.

“Allie, who’s your friend?”

Lenny liked the sound of her name. Allie.

“He said his name is Lenny, daddy. We just met. He was asking how far down 61 he’d have to drive before he’d get back on the interstate again.

Her father walked up alongside Lenny’s car.

“My name’s Ted Warren.”

He stuck out a long fingered tanned and gnarled hand. Lenny stretched his own as they shook, He thought it rather odd, almost queer-like, that a man the size of Ted Warren would have such a weak handshake. He had to be close to two-fifty if not more. Lenny himself topped in at one-seventy.

“I’m Lenny Mills. Like I was telling your daughter, I’m on my way to Utah to teach at the univerity in Salt Lake.”

“A teacher, huh? How long you been teaching?”

“This will be my sixth year.”

“Daddy, he said he’s been driving almost a whole day straight. I think it would be proper if we invite him up to the house for supper. Show him some real Nebraska hospitality.”

“No, really, I couldn’t impose.”

“Nonsense, Mr. Mills. After all the driving you’ve been doing, I can see a tired look in your eyes. You need a break. Besides, you wouldn’t want to miss out on Allie’s home cooking. She’ll have your belly full, and a smile on your face.”

Lenny shifted his eyes from Ted to Allie, lingering his eyes more on her and said, “What the heck. It’s Friday anyway. School doesn’t start for another week. I guess a few hours wouldn’t hurt.”

“Settled then. Allie, get in the truck. Mr. Mills, you just follow us on up the road to the house.”

“Call me Lenny, please. Sounds less formal.”

“Good enough for me, Lenny,” said Ted Warren with a thin-lipped smile.

Ted Warren strode back to the driver's side and under his bib-overalls and shirt, Lenny could almost see the massive muscle weight rippling underneath.

Getting back in his T-Bird, he thought, How can such a man his size and the way he’s built, have such a puny grip is beyond me. He waited for Ted Warren to gun the trucks engine, then followed them through a cloud of dust the DeSoto left in its wake.

In the back of his mind, Lenny wondered about all those salesmen jokes about the farmer’s daughter.

“Get that out of your head, Lenny, my boy. Last thing you need to have happen is a shotgun stuck up your ass because you got caught boffing his daughter behind the woodshed.”

Still, the thought and vision of doing Allie did give him an erection.

What was only supposed to be a quick supper and then out of there, ended up to be three hours later than Lenny anticipated.

After he pulled in alongside Ted Warren’s truck, he ended up on the front porch with the man, and they started talking about the country and what is and isn’t right with the world.

Next thing: Lenny fell asleep for nearly an hour.

Now it was just past eighty-thirty, Lenny and Ted Warren were again sitting on the front porch after dinner, neither man saying a word. Each were admiring the sun as it reached its boundries to relinquish light to darkness, leaving behind the last vestiges of colors perfectly blended in soft purples, faded reds, rustic oranges, jasmine greens, and homespun yellows.

Summer nights like this had always appealed to Lenny. It always fascinated him how nature could change without man’s involvement.

“I have to admit you didn’t lie, Ted. Your daughter is an excellent cook. I haven’t had fried chicken like that since I was a little kid visiting my grandmother on summer vacations in North Carolina.

“The view from here is beautiful. You know, peaceful.”

“Yep, I know all right. I’m right proud of Allie, too. After her mother died, it was rough, you know; raising a girl on your own and all that, but we managed. Allie was seven when the cancer took her mother.

“One day, when I’m gone, all you see around you for two miles will be hers. If she finds the right man who ain’t afraid of farming, it’ll be his as well. Ever do any farming, Lenny?”

“Not really. Well, sort of. When I was a kid, I used to work in the tobacco fields and drove a tractor sometimes. There isn’t much call for that these days in North Carolina. Corn and tomatoes are still a big call, and so are blueberries, but raising hogs down where I used to visit is where the money is now. Tobacco just doesn’t sell like it used to since all the stink about health hazzards, ingredients, and second-hand smoke and so on and so on.

“Now, teaching is my thing.”

“Yep. Seems like nothing stays the same or lasts forever these days. Hell, you could write a letter and have it sent and read in a few days. Make a phone call and be done with it in a few minutes. Nowadays, the internet speeds things up so quick a fellow just can’t keep up. Now you can talk and see who you’re talking to at the same time! Some people call that progress. Me, I call it being lazy. You forget how to write by typing all the time. That just ain’t right. Talking on the phone is good, but if you want to see me, or me you, then it’s time to drop by for a visit. Yep, just plain lazy.”

Crows could be seen landing on a scarecrow in the distance, picking at and around a straw face or so it appeared to Lenny.

“Do those things really work?”

“What things?”

“Scarecrows.”

“They surely do. It’s just that now and then, I go out there and work on the face some. When I do, then crows hardly ever come around.”

Ted Warren smiled at Lenny, and his eyes lit up with a glaze from the late evening colors. Just then, Allie stepped out onto the porch.

“Dishes are finished, daddy. What have you two been talking about?”

“Scarecrows, Allie,” Ted said flatly.

“Oh.”

Lenny thought he heard sorrow in that one syllable.

“I want to thank you both for a very delicios dinner and,”

“Around here, Lenny, dinner is at noon. We call this supper," Allie said with a wide smile.

“Okay, then thanks for a tasty supper, but I do have to be going. I have a lot to do when I get to Salt Lake. I have to get my apartment livable, and furniture moved in that’s been in storage, class assignments prepared, things like that. I’d love to stay longer, but if I don’t keep my priorities online, and right as rain, as my grandfather used to say; it’ll put me days behind schedule.”

“Lenny,” waved Ted Warren with his left hand, “we’ve got a spare bedroom upstairs. You can spend the night, get a good breakfast in the morning and be on your way then. It’s getting kind of late to be driving, wouldn’t you think?”

“Yes, but you folks have been kind enough as it is.”

“Don’t be silly,” quipped Allie. “One night isn’t going to make that big a difference anyway. You did say you have a whole week before school started, and besides, 61 isn’t really the best of roads to travel in the dark. You never know what might cross the road. Deer and sometimes wolves cross as well as smaller animals. No sense you getting into an accident. Just say you’ll stay, at least for the night.” Allie smiled her smile that just reeled Lenny in.

“Yes, I did say classes were a week away and well; okay, I’ll stay the night. You’re both right. One night won’t make a difference. I really do appreciate this.”

“Taint no trouble, Lenny,” smiled Ted Warren. “No trouble at all.”

Getting up from his chair on the porch, Lenny went to his T-Bird, opened the trunk and pulled out one of his suitcases. He thought about putting the top up in case of rain but the color-filled sky that was deepening now to dark-dark, held only twinkling stars. Turning back to the house, he followed Allie upstairs to the bedroom.

Lenny couldn’t help himself with the view before him as Allie slowly walked each step in a relaxed way. But, my God, he thought, what a way she has. If daddy weren’t home right now, he would put on his charm and have her in bed before you could say, “yeah baby!”

But daddy is home, and Lenny likes his balls attached just the way they are thank-you-very-much.

Walking into the room, Lenny set his suitcase on the bed, now feeling confidant the last of his erection finally deflated and walked over to the front window and peered into the now graying darkness. Lenny spotted Ted Warren walking in the direction of the scarecrow.

“What’s he going to do?”

Allie walked to the window standing close to Lenny, bent low and watched her father. Lenny could smell her freshness, like spring lilacs, and had an impulse to grab her, twist her into his arms and kiss her deeply, then make love to her.

In his mind he said, Down boy, Count to ten. One broken arm, two broken legs, three car wrecks, four housefires, five hurricanes, six tornados, seven bullets to the head, eight broken ribs, nine inches of steel in my heart, ten seconds to live.

It wasn’t working.

The heat between his legs refused to go away this time. At least his mind controlled his actions—barely. He moved away from her and returned to his suitcase.

“Oh, daddy’s just checking on the scarecrow is all. He does it every night before he goes to bed. If anything needs fixing or straightening, daddy does it. He says as long as the scarecrow looks scary, the crows won’t ruin the crops. As long as I can remember, daddy’s never been wrong.”

She turned, stood straight, and smiled at Lenny. “What’s the matter with you? You’re flustered in the face something awful.”

“I, uh, guess it must have been because I was bent over. Maybe all that driving finally caught up to me. I do feel tired now. After I get some sleep, I’ll be a new man.”

“Okay,” she said, still smiling. “The bathroom’s the last door at the end of the hall to the right. If you need anything, just holler, all right? And I do mean anything.”

She traced her right index finger straight down between her pert breasts and stopped just short of her stomach. Walking past Lenny, she grazed his arm, and smiled that country smile of hers, quickly looked down where Lenny hoped she wouldn’t, and she giggled softly.

Opening the door, she looked at him and said, “Daddy’s room is the one straight across from this one, and I’m next to yours on the left.” She winked, then closed the door behind her, leaving Lenny standing in the middle of the room.

He started unpacking.

Lenny, my boy, I do believe that was an invitation. Yeah, an invitation to trouble.

But Lenny, it’s a free offer you don’t have to run after; it’s here for the taking. She’s as much said so.

Yeah, I know. So is a handful of buckshot and a marriage license. No thanks.

Shaking his head, Lenny grabbed his toilet articles, a towel and headed for the shower, and took a long cold one.

It didn’t help.

Outside in the field next to the scarecrow, Ted Warren looked back at the house to the upstairs window where Lenny had looked out of earlier. Rearranging the face once more, he grimmaced at the thought of what had to be done. But there was no other way to save the crops.

Lenny tossed and turned all night.

When it appeared, he was finally going to go to sleep, he heard the knob on the bedroom door twist open, and a faint light from the hallway crept in along the floor, then the wall, then disappeared as the door closed.

He held his breath when he felt the bed give in to the extra weight. When he rolled over on his back, he let out a small gasp of air when he stared into Allie’s eyes and then her completely naked body.

Looking back at the bedroom door, he envisioned her father storming in with a shotgun bigger than life, but Ted Warren made no such appearance.

“Allie,” he whispered frantically, “what the hell are you doing? If your father finds you here, he’ll kill me and who knows what he’ll do to you!”

“You want me, don’t you, Lenny?” Allie reached under the covers and grabbed Lenny’s maleness. “This ... tells me you do. Don’t worry about daddy. He sleeps like a log until the sun comes up. We have almost three hours before that happens.”

Lenny’s an educated man and part of him said no, get dressed and leave right now. Then there was the other part that is strictly male, and said to himself, what the hell.

“Three hours,” he murmured.

Lenny let his hormones be his guide.

Just before the sun came up, Lenny and Allie finished making love for the third time. Lenney had never had such an experience with a woman before as he did with Allie. She was a sexual dynamo. He almost didn’t want to stop but he also remembered: daddy—shotgun—wedding.

He forced himself away from her and decided it was time to get dressed and leave while he still had the chance.

“Allie, you were terrific. But I think I had better leave before your father gets up. I think it would be better for both of us.”

“What about us, Lenny? You just made love to me, and now your just going to leave me like this? What kind of man are you?”

“Hold on, Allie. I don’t remember either one of us saying we loved each other or made any commitments. Hey, it was great, don’t get me wrong. I like you. I like you a lot, but I have responsibilities I have to meet. If I don’t, then I won’t have a job, and I love what I do.”

“Why do you have to be like all the rest of the men who have stayed here? Why couldn’t you be different from them?”

Allie’s arm reached under the bed while Lenny was dressing.

“What do you mean, all the rest?” Lenny was just zippering up his pants when he turned to face her.

“What other men?”

He saw it coming. His movement was too slow. It was if a movie was being played in slow motion. He couldn’t believe she would do this, not after the best sex imaginable.

Allie’s arm came in a wide sweeping arc.

The short-armed ax came whistling through the air and struck Lenny in the left side of his throat. Blood spurted through his fingers as he tried choking off the outpouring of blood.

Lenny couldn’t scream even if he wanted. The pain was deep rooted but not to the point he would have ever imagined. It was more like a dull burn that throbbed madly.

Allie came back with another slashing strike that ripped through the other side of his neck, sending Lenny tottering back against a dresser, his eyes transfixed in deathly disbelief; trying a last-ditch effort to keep his head from falling off his shoulders. Blood was everywhere.

Soaking his shirt, spraying across the dresser, the walls behind him and onto the floor, pooling underneath his shoes.

His head, filled with facts and figures, would be of no more use to him, or to anyone else.

Allie came down on Lenny’s neck one last time, sending his head along with a few fingers, dropping to the floor. His head rolled to a dead stop against the bedroom door, and lifeless eyes stared as blood oozed from the opening in Lenny’s shoulders.

Allie was covered from head to feet with Lenny’s blood. Taking the handle of the ax, she pushed Lenny’s still standing and quivering body, watching it fall to the floor next to the bed, shaking still as if very cold. She stared until the body finally became motionless.

Gripping the ax tighter, she walked to the door, stared down at the remorseless eyes of Lenny, and walked down the hall to take a shower and wash Lenny Mills from her flesh and cleaned the ax.

Returning to the bedroom, now dressed in a pink robe, she placed the ax back underneath the bed. She was careful not to walk where the blood stained the floor, she stared at the open, empty glare of Lenny’s dead eyes and whispered, “If you said you loved me, if you had said you would have stayed, it would have been different, Lenny.

“Much different.”

After breakfast, in the shed behind the house, Ted Warren came out with a canvas bag and walked the length of the field to the scarecrow with Allie walk next to him.

When they reached the scarecrow, Ted Warren removed the beaten, battered and now chewed away faced ruined by the scarecrows.

Reaching inside the canvas bag, he replaced it with a new face.

Lenny Mills.

Ted Warren spent most of the morning after burying Lenny’s body a mile away from the house, by removing the skull, brain and broken bone fragments along with dead muscle tissue; all that is, but for the eyes. Ted was careful not to damage the facial texture too much. But it was the eyes that would frighten the crows away for a good long while.

Mounting Lenny’s face onto the scarecrow’s shoulders and wrapping it tightly with two thin strands of wire pierced near where the ears would have been, Ted Warren tied it securely in place. He spent another two minutes straightening out the hair before placing a hat over Lenny’s dead scalp. Taking one thinner strand of wire, he tied off the neck to the post to make certain the wind wouldn’t blow it off or away.

Stepping back to inspect and admire the scarecrow’s face, he put his arm over Allie’s shoulder and hugged her to his massive frame.

“Don’t worry too much, Allie. One of these days, a man’s going to come around here and love you back. Until then, we’ve got to make sure these darned crows don’t eat all our crops.”

“I understand, daddy. It’s just so darn frustrating. Lenny’s the tenth man this year. You’d think one of them would have wanted to stay.”

“Allie, when the right man comes along, he’ll want to stay, and you’ll be happy. You’ll see.”

“I know and you’re right, daddy. You’re always right.”

They turned away from the scarecrow, Lenny’s eyes staring vacantly for all time. Ted Warren and Allie headed back to the house to clean up the mess in the guest bedroom.

Later in the day, Allie would head up the road to see if she might find her one true love.

Again.