Sea

Waves gently touch my feet as we walk along the shore, and I don’t mind. I feel the tingling sensation of the water moving past my feet, my skin tightens. Still, I don’t mind. This, after all, is our favorite place. This is our most-loved activity — walking side by side, holding hands as we walk for hours along the beach side. We share what happens to our day, we laugh at each others’ jokes, we whisper our hopes and dreams almost as a prayer that we hope to achieve. The dreams of traveling, learning about various cultures, moving from one place to the next, then later on building a family, teaching our children, and especially growing old together.

But now, my heart breaks as I show you my smile. Tears fill my eyes as I listen to your voice while you do your best to sound happy. My knees feel weak as I try to keep up. You run your fingers through my hair while you whisper our dreams over and over again. My eyes cannot hold the tears any longer. We stop and you grab me by the waist. You burst crying. You never cry. At least, never in front of me. I gently rub my hands on your back, but sorry, I cannot say anything in return. I know that I cannot reassure you. The only thing I can say is that I am trying my best. I am holding still, even when it hurts. But why does it hurt?

I feel my whole body stiffen. I feel hundreds of pins push through my chest. I scream and I push you away. Tears fill my eyes over and over. I cannot see clearly. Let’s go back. I cannot walk any longer. No whispers, please. No walks. This is after all what we promised each other. Today is our last day. The sun is setting and it paints the sky with pastel hues. Let’s remember this day as best as we could. Don’t worry, my tears will dry out soon. Let’s just walk farther from the shore.