Summer, 1975, Speedway, Indiana

Going commando meant wearing no underwear. We also called it going wedgie-proof. One time Mike shit his pants while we were on bikes on our way to steal Mad Magazines and candy from QuickPick. He took them off behind the Warren’s shrubs and then we hung them from their car antenna. They weren’t dripping shit but it was more than just a skid mark. More like a melted fudge bar. Mike wiped his butt with leaves then wiped it some more at a gas station over by Quick Pick. He stayed commando the whole day, all the way up until when we got back and went swimming in Ted's pool. It was almost dark by then because we’d played caroms plus a full game of Risk at the game center at Meadowood Park, plus horsed around on the monkey bars and stuff. At Ted’s, Missy, Ted’s little sister, smiled at me and later tried to dunk me. Ted’s mom made us PBJs and Fritos.