“Truth Sucks, I Know”

It's like a chunk of you breaks off and falls away. And it's good, you know that it's a good thing. But fuck does it hurt. And there's that part of you now that's exposed. Not to the world, not to some external source but to your own awareness. You come to this realization that parts of your life are not what you thought they were. In some ways you always knew this but it was like putting together a puzzle from a blurred image. In ways it's exciting, you know that this understanding will lead you to a new place. And in ways it's just fucking heartbreaking. And part of you knows that if you hadn't quite fit the puzzle together a part of you would be relieved but now that you've put it together you can't un-see it, you can't un-comprehend it. I guess that's the pain in growth. I am looking forward to nights not spent staying up smoking just trying to figure it out though.