The Truth About Lightning (and Thunder)

One hallowed be thy name, Gabriel was bored out of his gourd. Three thousand years have gone by and nothing relevant or exciting was going on.

The earth people were happy and content with the changing seasons. Their crops grew healthy. They bore children and overall were content. Even heaven was way to calm for him.

Gabriel had an idea and went to God.

"Our Heavenly Father, is it not true when the sun shines, the people below feel the heat?"

"Yes, Gabriel."

"And is it not also so, when the icy winds of winter approach, they too, can feel it?"

"Yes, Gabriel."

"Is it not so the people have no fear in their hearts for all is perfect?"

"Yes, Gabriel. Tell me then where you are going with this."

"You gave the people everything but fear. And though I am not asking for real mortal fear, there is a way to have the people below shriek with a never before sound."

"Interesting, Gabriel. Fear but not fear. Okay, so what are you thinking?"

"It's rather simple. You, being all-powerful can create an arc of bright white light to flash when it rains. But only when people take your name in vain, and we both know, though, for as content as the people are, they sometimes take your name in vain. And I remember a time about 2,000 years ago when I just uttered God dang it. With a wave of your finger, you flung me out to space for a week to contemplate my actions."

God laughed.

"I had a good chuckle over that one. I like your idea and it shall be done."

"One other thing, when you make the white light appear it has to crackle loudly and followed by a thunderclap which the angels can do simply by clapping their hands together."

"Gabriel, this is brilliant. We shall call them lightning and thunder."