What do I do Now?

Like it never happened, like I could ever forget it. This thing that has grown between us cannot simply be erased by his walking away. His footsteps are light with youth's bravado; I know it is not real because of the stone in my chest, making it harder and harder to breathe.

"You can't just walk away!" I yell at his back. Words wrapped in barbed wire to hide a silent plea of my heart for him to come back to me. The shadows of dreams that I never should have conjured are all I have left as his blank face turns to me.

"Walking away is all I can do. I want to forget," he pleads, waving a hand at me and my backdrop. "Do you think anyone else would care? We are nobodies." I scramble for a reply; he has cut off my best argument before I could even begin. I torture my brain to come up with something, anything; he cannot leave me to face the heartless tomorrow on my own. It was his tireless wings of hope that have kept me going for this time that we have been together, I do not know if I can do it alone.

"Please don't leave me," I whimper at his back as he turns once again to walk away from me, but my words go unheeded. Somewhere, a bird calls into the night, a lone morner of passion forlorn.

I turn away too, walking back to the place that has been my home for who knows how long. Slowly, I slide down the metal wall onto my filthy mattress on the floor. I stare dispassionately at the ever-growing blood stain on the floor, and at the sharpened spoon resting in the red sea.

"I still hate you for making me this pathetic," I tell the corpse of my ex-captor. I may have been a nobody with no one to care about me and not a thing to my name, but once upon a time I had the ability to make decisions. I try to wipe the blood droplets off my face, but I only smear them more with the blood on my hands.

"I don't know what to do," I sob as I curl up on my side, the springs of the bare mattress digging into my ribs like always, but now there is no one here to comfort my pain. My nose runs, blocking out the awful smells that I have been made aware of by my brief walk outside.

I am lost as to what to do, not knowing how to escape my prison now that the door is finally open. On the night that I should have been free, I can feel the false walls closing in on me. The bars on my mind are slowly cutting me into pieces.