The Silent Treatment

He was angry at God

Seething

God had failed him in his darkest hour

He didn’t help him

He didn’t save him

He wouldn’t even talk to him

Nothing

No God

He was nowhere to be found

And the disaster was insurmountable

For years now, he had written in notebooks and journals of God’s love for him, God’s hopes for him, and God’s willingness to help him. Finally, in the midst of his own personal tsunami, God goes on a lunch break. Thanks a lot, God! This was nothing short of betrayal.

In his anger, he gathered all of his writings and every Bible he could find and took them outside and threw them into the fire with the garbage. He was done with God. If God had a problem with that, then He could kill him and he would talk to Him face to face, and that would be just fine.

He started his life over. He was going to have his own rebirth, this time, without God. He moved to a new town, found a new job, and got a hobby instead of finding a church. He kept his distance from people and avoided making friends. He sought no occasion for his flesh, to indulge himself, for he knew too well the trouble that would bring and he had enough trouble without it.

The sin he was willing to bear, was not loving God. He stopped talking to God. No more morning prayer. No more broken hearted weeping over broken hearted souls and absolutely no more singing the songs of worship and praise. Nothing beyond himself. God was big enough; let him worry about the rest of the world. It was His problem anyway.

He avoided both the God bashers and the God lovers. He avoided those who used the name of God in their speech, or any reference to His Son. He wanted nothing to do with the name of God, whether good or bad.

Over time his heart grew cold toward other people. He could walk by the homeless or the hungry, the poor or the needy, the diseased or the infirmed, without even a twinge for them. He kept a low profile and minded his own business. He was simply waiting to die and have his day.

Finally, he was old.

Eventually, He attracted the notice of a young and eager lover of God. One of those set upon the world by a local church, filled with other lovers of God. They had at some point decided their mission in life, more specifically, in that community was to spread God’s love through smiles and toil. Each young evangelist was always on heightened alert for the flat eyes of a dead soul.

Somehow, quite by accident, their paths crossed and their eyes met. They were locked together for what seemed forever. The young man’s face went strangely somber and he said without really thinking,”What happened to you?”

As quickly as the words were out, the old man turned and walked away. His new tormenter was not deterred and he moved quickly and caught him by the arm. “Please sir, tell me! I sense in my spirit something terrible happened to you. I must know!”

“Leave me alone!” the old man hissed and he wrenched loose and went on. The young man followed at a distance, waiting for another opportunity. He quickly decided he had stumbled onto something big and vowed to God to pray for this man until the matter was concluded, whatever that meant. His opportunity never came. The old man managed to avoid the young evangelist so well, that he never saw his face again.

In the end, the old man died. So complete was his self imposed isolation, that when he caught pneumonia and holed up in his apartment and died, no one knew. Eventually, the young man heard and stopped praying for him. He continued trying to love the world, however, with his smiling and his toiling.

The old man went to have his talk with God and what God had to say to him was behind closed doors. What the old man had to say to God he had said publicly, with the remainder of his life.

The great trial he had experienced was given by God as a gift, an opportunity to learn and grow. To get closer to God whose ways are higher than our ways, who walks on water, and calls the stars by name. To know this God deeply is only accomplished through trial.

Each trial of greater difficulty takes away a little more of our ability to be self reliant. Only as we come to the end of ourselves are we inclined to come to Him. Coming to God and knowing God personally, is what faith is all about. The development of our faith is God’s highest goal for us and trial is a primary training tool.

The old man had separated himself from the love of God, which God pours into His children so they are able to reach out to the world that doesn’t know Him or care that He loves them. He had disconnected from his Source. The old man dried up. No love in, no love out. He became like the rest of the world, useless to God. The sin he was willing to bear finally killed him.

The old man got angry because his loss was so great, which was a natural response. But faith calls us to a supernatural response, to draw closer to our supernatural God, and the old man refused. He refused to see past his pain to his place, the place of a servant, a servant of God. Even as a lamb for God to slaughter if He so chooses.

The old man threw away his opportunity to come a step closer to understanding what it means to love the Lord our God with all our heart, and all our mind, and all our strength, and to know Him as He is…and not as we want Him to be.