Excerpt - Deal with a Dragon

His room was not comfortable. Granted, sharing a bed with a gaggle of older brothers was ALSO not comfortable, but at least there he knew where he was and what to expect. Waking up to fart sounds, spiders on your pillow, wet willies. That sort of thing. Unfortunately for Alex, there's something especially intimidating about big stone walls, itty bitty windows, and a ceiling that arches up high yet still manages to look like it's going to crush you.

His bed was also trying to swallow him. It was comfortable as sin, yes, but he wasn't used to having quite so much all to himself. His eyes continually darted to the corners, waiting to see claws coming up over the thick quilt and red eyes blinking at him greedily. Weren't there supposed to be secret passages in castles? The dark, creepy kind where bugs grew to twenty times their size so they could wriggle out and feast on your fingers while you slept?

Those windows had no glass in them. They were just barely wide enough to emit some small amount of moonlight. It filtered down in choppy streams, and instead of brightening the place, the light seemed to be breaking its own rule and only making the black parts even blacker. Alexander alternatively widened and narrowed his eyes, but his night vision didn't improve near enough to pierce it.

Not that he could have slept anyway. Something about being locked into eternal servitude gave a boy terrible insomnia. Quite frankly he wasn't even sure what it would entail. He wasn't built to be a guard, and no way would King William let his precious daughter be guarded by a scrawny fish bone. He could throw himself over her like a meat shield and he wouldn't even manage to cover a third of her. So, short of that, what could he do exactly? Take care of her royal(y unfortunate) horse? Tidy her room? Help her dress? Gods forbid, clean her chamber pot?

Suddenly being eaten by monsters in the dark seemed like the better alternative.

Casting the blanket aside, Alexander stood and paced. The stone floor was freezing, and he wished again that he were back home. With that many bodies in one room, it was certainly never cold.

His chest was sitting in the corner of the room. Closed, it too felt cold to him now. Before it had been his benefit, but now it was his undoing. What was his salvation was now his damnation. And he'd certainly never pictured hell to be quite this unforgiving.

A thought flickered to life in the back of his mulling mind. His toe skidded over the stone, and he locked eyes with the chest again, biting his lip. A fourth of that loot would still be enough to get him admitted. Still be enough to pay for room and board. It would even still be enough for him to have a nice chunk of money set aside atop all of that.

If the dragon was willing to give him his life for half, what would he be willing to do for just a bit more?

Listening in the silence, Alex stood frozen for a few more moments, before bursting into action. His ears stayed tuned for the sound of footsteps beyond his door, but he was careful as he worked. He took the sheet from the bed and tore it, grimacing at the noise it made, before darting back to the chest and beginning to unload the gold into the fabric. One knot and it was done. A crude little napsack, but effective. Pausing, he thought better of it and went to the pillow, ripping it open and stuffing the feathery down amidst the jingling gold pieces and gemstones.

That would make it quieter, at least.

The tricky part would be getting himself out of the blasted castle. He was only one floor up, but scrawny though he was there was no way he was fitting through any of those windows. Tangling his fingers in his makeshift bag, Alex closed his eyes and imagined the passage he'd walked through to get there. If he recalled correctly, there'd been a far larger window in the hall. Curtains were drawn over it to keep the bugs out, but if the positioning were correct from the outside, there was a moat beneath it. A deep one, to make up for the vulnerability of having such a large gap in the stone masonry.

He could jump.

Immediately goosepimples rose on his arms. No, it wasn't nearly as high as the mountain, but at last when climbing that his feet had never had to leave the ground. Jumping out of a castle...

A little voice in his head whispered menacingly, “chamber pooooootsssss.”

It was decided. He would have to use something to lower the bag though, there was no way he'd be able to get that much gold out of the water without drowning. Grunting, he hefted the thing up and walked over to the bed, setting it down and observing the canopy over it. Gaudy material, and the pattern made it look like some grotesque face was staring down at him. He felt along and discovered rope through the edges of it, poking out in the form of golden tassels. It wasn't easy to work it out, but when he was finished, he had what he needed. He might even be able to make straps to carry the sack with once he was free.

Alexander had no idea how long he stood with his ear pressed to the door. That familiar sensation of a noose around his neck flared again when he realized what the punishment would be for this affront. After all, King William would doubtlessly be enraged to see how his generosity was being so flippantly shirked.

With one final glance at the room, Alex stepped out. He had no idea where his clothing was, so he'd had to don the foppish stuff they'd stuck him in. If he were lucky, it would send the dragon into a laughing fit and make him more malleable to suggestion.

The window was close. Closer than he'd remembered. Parting the curtains, he looked down, and had to keep himself from shouting 'hoorah!' as he realized his theory was right. There was the moat, all murky and green and disgustingly beautiful.

And hopefully not crawling with alligators.

The gold was first. After all, that was his bargaining chip. Without it he was just hopping out of the frying pan and right into the dragon fire. Lowering it wasn't easy, and as he did he almost heard his back screaming in protest. The fact that he had to carry this up the mountain again made him certain he'd have a crooked spine way before his time.

With a satisfying thud, the gold landed just short of the water, pinned between it and the base of the castle. Now it was his turn. Hopefully he could aim himself just right in order to-

“Oh FREDERICK! You know we'll get in trouble if they catch us!”

Alex hissed. The voice was near, maybe around the corner, though he couldn't see anyone yet. Climbing up onto the sill, he fixed his eyes downwards and began trying to work up his nerve.

“You KNOW how inappropriate this is!”

Still needed more nerve.

“I'm a married woman, Frederick! And my husband would not approve of such flirting!”

Bile in his throat, but more nerve was needed. The voices drew closer.

“Alright, alright.” The sound of giggling, high pitched. “Just this one time, Freddy-poo! Really quick-like!”

It was at that point Alexander decided a broken leg was preferable to hearing the conclusion of the conversation. He jumped.