Sunlight, Sugar, and Love

Memories are only sad when I let myself forget the joy.

There's a strange kind of envy felt for the person who I used to be---

The one who burst with energy and wrote of hope for life to come

And spent her days in trees and books and laughed through all the pains of life.

It's easy for me now to pity the person I've become

Because my space is a mess, my mind's even messier, and in general I've thrown myself into chaos.

And I'm up at night convincing myself that I need to be that kid again

Because kids don't worry about these things, they just want sunlight and sugar and love.

But lying there just hating myself and staining my memories grey with regret,

I'd forgotten that kid who just wanted a life where loving was all she needed to do.

I'd forgotten I can still climb trees and lie in the sun and eat sprinkles on their own,

Even when my mind tells my heart that the things it loves are no longer possible.

And memories are only sad if I let myself forget the joy.

And life is only pointless if I let myself forget that kid.

Now I just want to tell her that she's going to become a big, hot mess.

But her heart goes right on loving even when she feels it least.