S’mores

I don't know why it's this memory that sticks out to me so vibrantly. One summer afternoon, not too late, perhaps two or so I'd gone to visit a cousin. I live in Texas so the air simmered, June bugs providing a scorching melody capping off an aesthetic. I had to have been in middle school, when I brought along a small, blue spiral journal full to bursting in black ink with my story ideas. I was hoping to get feedback and pitch ideas to better solidify each one in my mind. Only it rained that day afterward, and when we could finally go back outside to get it the pages had become moist, grey I could have lost all that work. I was lucky it had been a brief seasonal shower. But that isn't important.

Within the time there was still sun and I was no older than twelve or thirteen years old there were three of us. Myself, my cousin whose house we were in Jesus Antonio-- fondly and universally addressed To-no(with the Mexican n with the dash)-- and younger than us both Aaliyah. Was it a plan or was it spontaneity once we'd decided fooling around sparking a fire in the barrel had been a good idea? I'm not entirely sure. Either way, we had the marshmallows, we had graham crackers, and we had three prongs one for each to place the cooking mellows on.

What I do remember that day is how vibrant their expansive yard seemed. How it's green just popped to my eyes. That particular Uncle owns a ranch you see, allowing for the typical backyard with a large, old tree that was an enormous undertaking when we'd been toddlers. That Tono had dared to climb, to my chagrin. There was the typical storage for tools, feed, the mower, and it smelled bad, somewhat of poop. The bugs were relentless, attracted to water and a multitude of earthy hidey-holes. But there was also the dusty plain called the middle. I don't know what the old cars or trailers or RV had been for, perhaps its just where they'd all happened to die. There was another, wider, bigger storage shed sometimes used as our own base of co-op for roleplaying games. Other times a rest stop. Where just beside us teased yet more property where the animals actually were and even a lake!

I knew all this. Either from exploring for myself or second-hand. I loved his home, I loved to play and run after him. We loved venturing out to where the cows and the stallions and mares were, exploring, imagining, laughing even as we scraped skin off our arms or stabbed a foot by accident.

In that day, to simply be with them and be in that heavy, rustic air surrounded by good company and the promise of candy... could that be when my love reached it's peak? My love for his company, barely understanding just how exquisite it was despite years spent in each other's orbit? When one of his many sisters provided the chocolate we were surely ecstatic. I knew I was. S'mores. Real s'mores right out of cartoons and commercials and books.

We spent a lot of time together, we laughed, we goofed, we said each and every thing that would make a grown-up balk. When I was with my cousins there was always reason to enjoy their company. Maybe not all the time, maybe not most of the time but the moments where our personalities simply drift, in the small, minute moments we can simply be together and be in sync just makes the chocolate sweeter, the marshmallow a little less overpowering. The heat, all the more of a pleasant sting on exposed skin.

I enjoyed a campfire that day. I got to enjoy the quiet moment where in the crannies between the silence we were content to leave it that way. I'm not sure if they noticed then or if they see now, how rare it is when ourselves so perfectly come to match. We were happy with each other and it was fun! We all got a turn toasting marshmallows. Some even caught-- by a wick-- on actual fire!

It had been careful work to get each melted mellow on a cracker, completed each by two units of small Hershey's chocolate.

Once the crackers were gone and the plate was full we retreated to the kitchen just beyond the back door we'd gone out, to enjoy the spoils and cool off.

It was divine to feel the cool AC after that long in Texas sun. There was a TV above the kitchen table. One that had gone forgotten for a few years. Back then there'd also been a swanky and proudly sized TV in the living room too. But that day, it was the kitchen Tv we turned to YouTube while each enjoying a s'more.

I didn't completely understand all the music, and swear words still displeased me, but it was funny and the talk flowed seamless anyway so it hardly mattered. They even let me go on about my story journal.