People Pleasing is Like Watering Everyone Else’s Garden But Your Own.

I sat near my flower beds near my house. People from my neighborhood complimented my flowers. My flower beds had a mixture of roses, dandelions, tulips, and peonies. I softly smiled at them. Then, they asked me to take care of their flower beds, and they would promise to be friends if I took care of their garden. I glanced at their garden, and their flowers were nearly dying, almost into fragments. I had this empty feeling in my stomach, and my flowers were healthily watered already. This empty, gut feeling in my stomach, knowing that if I didn't help them water their plants, their flowers would die.

So I agreed.

Day by day, I walked to their house to water their plants, and my neighborhood friends started to hang out with me more often. They asked me for more favors, like buying more supplies for their plants so it could shine out more. I looked at my wallet. It had plenty of money. I should have enough for myself as well. So I agreed.

I went to the store to buy more seeds and more nourishment for their plants. I went back to their house and helped their plants grow. Day by day, their flowers went from dying into dust into growing into sunlight. Suddenly, more people asked me to water their plants for them since I was doing so well watering my neighborhood friends' plants. I glanced at their plants. It looked just fine, but I couldn't say no.

So I agreed.

I repeat every step. Water. Plant. Seed. More people asking. Repeat. I then carefully take care of every single flower I see, every single leaf that dies, and every single petal that falls. They're happy, right? They're glad that I got to help them. As long as they're smiling, I'm smiling too. As long as they're happy about the aftermath, I guess... I'll be happy too.

They ask for another offer. I glanced at the inside of my wallet. It's getting empty. Thousands of dollars turned into hundreds, and hundreds turned into five dollars total. I can't make them sad. I can't let them disappoint me. They're gonna hate me and they'll never ask me to take care of their flowers ever again. As I saw them through the window, watching TV, I sighed and took the car keys to drive to the store. I used the last bit of my money for seeds that weren't even for me.

I planted the last seed in their flowerbed.

They thanked me, once again. Of course they thanked me.

And when they asked for another request once again, I nearly forgot about my own plants. While their plants were thriving and shining, my plants were dying and decaying. The leaves were falling. The petals were darkening. The soil was dry. And my flowers were dead. I've taken care of so many flowerbeds that I forget to even look at my own.

But I can't say no. I can't say no, ever.

Until I did.

They looked disappointed, of course. And then they walked away from me.

Their plants are gonna die soon, but so will mine. My garden was dying, and I don't have anything left. I ran out of water. I ran out of money. I ran out of happiness. I feel angry. I don't wanna take care of other people's stuff when they don't even take care of their own things. I don't wanna help. I don't wanna help anymore.

One person knocked on the door and asked for their last request. Their last request to water their plants. To buy them seeds. To give their flowers nourishment.

I'm tired. I'm tired of helping people.

But they'll be angry. Mad. Furious at me, even, if I said no.

I don't want them to be disappointed in me. I don't want them to tell others how much of a disappointment I am and how I'm a terrible person.

My flowerbed was completely dry. By now, my flowers turned black and the only thing that's left on the soil was their remains. I want to save them, but I can't. I can't do anything anymore.

But their flowers could be worse.

So I agreed.

Leaving my garden

to dust.