Fearful-avoidant

Why must I crave for affection and still want to avoid everyone at the same time?

Why must I feel like people are gonna abandon me one day and I still yet to cling onto them every day?

Why am I afraid that they're gonna hurt me, and yet I still crave for their affection?

I'm afraid of closeness.

Yet I'm also afraid of abandonment.

I'm afraid of affection.

Yet I'm also afraid of drifting.

I don't want more friends.

Yet I'll be lonely.

I want to have a best friend.

Yet they could hurt me.

I just want to feel understood.

It's tiring.