from my book (i haven’t fallen in love before but this is still very sad :( )
So in my book series, I wrote a really deep part and here is an excerpt of it. there are some slight spoilers if you care to read my book, but here it is. enjoy and have a nice day. :)
I walked back outside to the study and sighed, sad to be leaving.
“You wish you could stay here,” Aaron said as he walked to an active fireplace, “But you also know that you can’t.”
“Yeah,” I said as I adjusted the strap of the duffel bag on my shoulder and walked toward the fireplace.
“Later, I’ll look back on your visit, and you know what it’ll remind me of?” Aaron asked. I looked at him, wanting an answer, “Childhood.”
“Childhood? That’s odd,” I said.
“Yeah, but think about it: childhood is what I thought of when you were here,” Aaron said, “Everybody has one, but some people have it harder than others. Today, you had fun, and that’s what childhood is all about. Before you start your education, and before you learn about the complexity of life, you just have fun. You look back on it now, and you’ll think of those times as memories, but in truth, when you were actually living the moment–”
“You were just having fun,” I said, and Aaron smiled.
“You know, I had a wife once. We were so perfect together, and we were about to have kids, but then, she was taken away from me,” Aaron said. I was about to ask how she was taken away, but I thought it best not to, “I felt sadness, but I also didn’t feel guilt. Eventually, I came out of sadness, and I looked back on all our time together. For once in my life,” Aaron said, beginning to tear up, “I was happy. I think about her every day. I know that I could just take that train,” Aaron said as he pointed to where the train station was. A tear rolled down his cheek, “And I could find her… but then I think about it more and realize that whoever I find out there may love me, but it will never be the same as what I had. Every single other reality could have my wife alive and just sitting near the door, waiting for me, but will I come in? No, because I know it’s not really her. It could be a cell-by-cell copy of her, but it won’t be the same.” I nodded, catching onto what he was saying. “I don’t know if you’ve fallen in love before, but it’s just so heartbreaking when you lose someone, and you know that your memories of them can never be replaced. You can try your hardest to just get them into your arms… just one more time… but it’s too late. Death takes and takes, but after everything, you’ve gotta remember that whatever happened, happened. And whether it eats you alive doing nothing about it… it’s the best option you got at not trying to let down your guard. If you let yourself get blinded by emotions all the time and get buried by your sadness, you will never learn to grow out of it. It’s like guilt: it could take years and years to fix, but it’s possible to move on. Love can take years to make, but it can end in the blink of an eye. You know, it really just stabs you in the back when you’re living your best life… and it’ll kill you.” Aaron cried, really speaking from his heart as he remembered his wife. “I’m just saying that as you leave here, just remember that life can go on, even after death. It may seem impossible, but you’ve got to try…”
“I’ve been in love before,” I said, putting in my own input. “When I was training to become an Agent, I met this girl named Maya. There were 39 of us, and I was the last one to join. We were all mostly boys, but there was one girl, and that was Maya. Oh, and she was the best. Anyway, we trained together, and we promised each other that we would marry each other the moment we got out. Well, near the end of our 5-year long training, there was an attack on the building. We all defended the others, but they took every single one of us out until it was just me and… her. We thought the fight was over, so we let down our guard. And for the first time in a while, I looked at her and felt true love. Then, someone shot her in the heart from the other side. I shot him, but the worst part was that I held her in my arms as she bled out. She died in my arms, and I vowed never to let anyone touch my loved ones ever again. From there, I was filled with vengeance, and I fought and I killed as the last Agent, avenging each and every single one of them. From that, I gave myself a number as the last agent, the one who wasn’t killed: Agent 39.” I said, explaining the origins of my name. All of this is true; there was a girl named Maya, and she died in my dirty grasp. We were almost free, but death’s cold finger touched her soul, and I lost her.
“Well,” Aaron said, both of us on the brink of crying together, “Let’s get you on your way.” Aaron looked at the screens around the island and I looked as well and saw all of the Travellers on the beach. I sighed, knowing it was time to return to the harsh world of humanity. I wish I could spend the rest of my life with Aaron, but I had to move on. We walked to the door and walked down the long cold passage where I had seen my fate. We both walked together, both mourning our losses. We could’ve had it all, but it was taken away from us. In the modern world we lived in, there was always constant action, and no time to really stop and mourn with somebody else who understands, but that last hour and a half with Aaron was the best moment of my life. He really showed me that your life doesn’t have to be rushed. To this day, I still used his words of advice. We walked outside into the jungle and began to walk down to the beach, still thinking about the ones we lost. We reached the beach, and I felt some itching in my feet.
“Hold on,” I said as I sat down. I pulled off my socks and shoes and held them. Aaron smiled and did the same. With that, we started to walk around the island.
The waves quietly crashed beside us and touched our feet as we walked. One of the few benefits of humanity is emotions. They could really beat you down harmfully and drive you insane. They could make you scared, and feel like you could lose your precious life at any moment. They could make you feel hatred and kill anyone who angers you. They could make you feel like you were on top of the world and that nothing could get in your way. But they could also make you feel sorrow, loss, guilt, and many other things that could weaken you. Going on this emotional rollercoaster with Aaron taught me to love the little things in life and stop worrying about the big threat you have looming over you. If you feel like you have too much work, take a break. Do now underestimate your emotions, but also remember to not underestimate yourself. Every single human has a purpose, and another thing about being human is that you make mistakes a lot of the time. Making mistakes is just natural because everyone does it. Sometimes mistakes don’t have any consequences, but they could also take your loved ones away and make your life miserable when you feel like you’re on top of the world. We slightly sank in the sand every time our feet touched the sand, but in the end, we pulled out of it. Acceptance is the last step in sadness and guilt. If you don’t accept that you tried your best, then you will never forgive yourself. Find peace in the world, and accept what you find to be comforting for you. It may seem like all of the world is against you, but after all that, you still have one ally: yourself. You are your only weakness, and you are your only strength. Not knowing how great you are and feeling like there’s nothing left for you gets people hurt and really leaves you feeling like all that you’ve done is worthless and will mean nothing, but no one else thinks that. Every single human being has a purpose. Every single human being makes mistakes. Every single human being has emotions. Every single human being has the ability to accept things. You could be mad, sad, scared, happy, thankful, and confused, but in the end… you’re still you, and you get to decide how you want to live your life.
:| sad