Challenge
Kill! Kill! Kill! Die! Die! Die!
I just read an article about a man who booby-trapped cardboard boxes on his doorstep because porch pirates had been stealing his deliveries for months. He had a few interesting contraptions, but the first plan was to offer his cat's ripe litter box holdings to the next thief, which worked fine, but then the discarded box was found by a neighbor and returned to him. Not cool. Come up with some brilliant booby-traps, and let's see who gets the most "likes" for creativity and description. Multiple ideas are fine. Add, if you want, possible failures and fail-safes. How are you going to teach these thieves a lesson? Paint a picture of your porch if necessary; and an extra challenge for Sushishi, Sadhill, and PrettyScaries: try to keep them alive... you know... at least for a little while.
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Quantum Piracy
Here at the Schrödingers, we've had it with the porch pirates. Sad to say, we've also had it with the cat. She'll probably crap in the sink again. She'll probably piss in the silverware drawer again. She'll probably shred the leather couch again. She'll probably vomit on the smartphone again. In any event, she stinks, and it's easier to get a cat in a box than in the bath.
Let them steal this! Let them choose! Will they steal this? Will they choose?
Probably, which is pretty funny when you think about it.
All I know is that we aren't responsible for what happens. Our consciences are clear, shimmying in a probability cloud of feline survival.
Or not.