Seen

What to do with this substantial check, in 500 words or less?

Substantial to one is survival to another.

$1000 is a lot of food, even with eggs at $5/dozen. But it won’t cover a month’s rent.

$5,000 would cover the rent, but not the credit card debt.

$10,000 pays the credit, but not the student loans.

$25,000? A deep breath of relief I haven’t taken in years.

A moment of swimming, not sinking.

How long will it last? Will I get another? What if I mess this up?

And now I’m spiraling again.

But there’s a minute, when I first open that check where it doesn’t matter if it’s a dollar or a thousand. That check says, “Someone read your words and they see you as a writer.”

The value of this check is in its validation.

I’ll spend it on my self-esteem,

Invest it in my imagination,

And deposit whatever’s left in my dreams.