First Novel’s Reality Check

How would I spend $9,642? Well, I think I'd pay off my Jeep (it's an 08, I bought it used, it's been in the shop twice in a year and the muffler fell off), and with the leftover seventeen bucks, I'd snag a combo meal from Arby's, because I'm a big-time pro writer in this particular scenario.

Oh, wait, what's that? I got a film option from Warner Brothers? AND they want me to adapt my novel into a screenplay? HELL YEAH, ANOTHER SIX THOUSAND BUCKS FOR MY BACK POCKET!

Look, I suck at screenplays, but I'm gonna insist on a writing credit, so that's somethin. Maybe I can sweet talk the studio into flying me out to the Hollywood Premier, if they actually film the thing and release it in theaters. Likely it'll just end up on Max and a few dozen people will stream it on a random Tuesday. Hell, if I'm really lucky, the studio will put me up in a Hampton Inn at the airport and maybe I can get my picture taken with whatever B-lister landed the starring role.

As for that huge six grand payout?

I'm goin to Disneyland, baby. For exactly one day. Alone. Because one day is all I can afford with that check.

Maybe somebody will recognize me in line while I wait to ride Space Mountain. I can sign their copy of my book, because I think the Mouse would frown on me signing milfboobs in Tomorrowland.

Hey. The money won't be great, but maybe groupies can be a thing, right?