100 Indulgences

I'd cash the check out into 10,000 pennies, which weighs approximately 55 pounds. With that sort of mass to work with, baby, there'd be no stopping me.

First, I'd fill up two long compression socks and tie them securely together, probably using a reever knot. Then I'd start swinging them around and around until the momentum increased enough to raise them high overhead, swinging them faster and faster until my arms are straining to hold the the blurring propeller.

This is where it gets tricky, because if even one of the socks is worn enough, then that screws the pooch and a sock will prematurely split open and pennies will start raining down all over creation.

As long as that doesn't happen, I'd start hopping as I spin the socks full of pennies, jumping higher and higher until my feel barely come back to the ground.

I know most of you aren't going to believe me, but there comes a point when a spinning propeller of socks and the height gained by jumping starts to nullify gravity.

I know. I know. You don't want to believe that such a thing as possible, but it really is and that's what I'd use the hundred dollar check for: to prove that such things are not only possible but they are so common in life that we don't even notice them when they're happening.

Of course, eventually one of the socks *will* burst open. it's inevitable. But that's OK, because by then I'd be flying high above the city and, as the pennies rain down one by golden one, I'd smile and reach out towards the sun and all would be right in the world again.