The Wait

Friends are a blessing. If you are lucky enough to have a best friend, or even a very good friend, please appreciate them. I have had a few friends in passing. I'd sit on the shelf of their friendships and beg to be picked. They'd blow me off or criticize me. I'd reassure myself that that's just how it went with "girls". Not supportive or thoughtful, just listening to their complaints and plans. As I've aged this has always been an insecurity of mine. I see other women with their large wedding parties, or catching up at a restaurant laughing freely. It haunts me a little now, being an adult in need of friends. Many people around me have a gaggle of friends from their childhood. The time when everyone is your classmate and nothing is embarrassing. So, what holds me back is this question. Is it me? I am the reason I don't have any friends? Is it what I say, how I act? There are a lot of things holding me back, including the fact that I work with no one my age and rarely come in contact with someone who could potentially be a friend. So I haven't closed the door, but I am trying to give myself some grace. Maybe someday the right person will come along.