You’ve Got Mail

Joe pressed the button for the lobby, and the oaken doors of the elevator slid closed with a hiss and a thump. He looked at the woman beside him, a woman that had shared his bed and his life for a few years. Her plump lips and pink tongue were moving strangely. Then, he heard a name: "Kathleen." He hadn't realized she'd been speaking.

"What about Kathleen Kelley?" he asked pointedly.

Her dark eyes narrowed and she slunk toward him. Suddenly, the elevator jolted to a stop. Joe steadied himself, and his companion yipped.

"What is going on here!" she yelled.

"It's okay; I'll call the super." Joe patted her arm.

She glowered, "Yeah, well tell him if her doesn't get his ASS up here in 5 seconds--!!"

She suddenly stopped her rant. He sat on the floor next to her, and waited for her to breathe.

"You know, I think it’s amazing that you don't acknowledge your part in her predicament."

What did she mean?

"It's so obtuse and cruel. It reminds me of someone. Oh, yeah. Me!"

Joe wobbled his head, both disturbed and amused that she was so right. It might have been the first sane thing she had ever uttered to him. He wouldn't tell Kathleen that part when he emailed her tonight. He would just say they broke up in the elevator. But, what to do with the body?

"She would have been a great children's book editor, but she met you."

What did he have to do with Kathleen's career choices? She really was a nut job. How had he missed it before today?

He looked at her small frame and calculated the dimensions of her body in various positions. It wasn't as if he could cut her up. Besides, it would ruin his suit. His grandfather bought him that suit when he completed his first hostile takeover.

"Maybe the nanny will rub the stains out...but only while you're still wearing the trousers." She had become so crass. How did she hobknob with that filthy mouth?

That's when he got the idea.

The doors opened to a scene that shocked Frederick, and he grew up in Queens. Joe Fox was sitting on the carpeted floor, cradling Ms. Eden's head between his legs. And Mr. Fox was definitely enjoying himself. Frederick apologized and let the doors close. He would give them some time to finish. Meanwhile, he would check on Mrs. Pratchett in 34. She was bound to be in an upheaval, even though she was nowhere near the elevator when it malfunctioned.

@TheWolfeDen