My Husband the Liar

I don’t know if you’d call him a liar, but there are times when I listen to the things he says, and I can’t help but wonder.

My husband certainly doesn’t have a history of lying, at least as far as I’m aware. None of his lifelong friends or close family members have ever accused him of doing so. He is a man of his word and doesn’t shy away from the truth. He tells it like it is, and I’ve always appreciated him for that.

And yet . . .

How can I believe him when he tells me things that I know aren’t true?

How can I look in the mirror at this overweight body and acne-scar-riddled face and believe him when he tells me I’m gorgeous?

How can I trust him when he tells me I’m one of the smartest people he knows when I struggle to keep up with his strategic and problem-solving mind?

How can he be telling the truth when he calls me kind, caring, and selfless when I know just how selfish I can be?

How can I reconcile the person I know myself to be with his descriptions of me?

The truth is, I can’t.

No matter how many times he tells me how beautiful, intelligent, or wonderful I am, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to see it. I don’t think I’ll ever believe it.

Is it lying if the person telling the lie believes it wholeheartedly?

After almost fifteen years together, it’s clear he isn’t going to change his mind. Whether in spite of the way he looks at me or because of it, I’m not sure, but I do love him. I guess I can live with the lies.