The Rollercoaster I am Forced to Ride

The first day, exciting yet scary. It's a new beginning, a blank slate. About those I feel the same way. I have nothing to work off of. No foundation to start on. I'm like a wire that isn't grounded. What if I spark? Everything could blow up. I know it won't happen but I worry anyway. Anxiety eats me, hungry. What if... is my enemy. I cannot shake this feeling no matter how hard I try, how much I know it will be fine. This is how these always start. It was so even on the first day of my senior year of high school. I went into it thinking of all the worst case scenarios, it being my first day in person since before the covid lockdown and all. I knew my teachers would be good, of five I had already had three, and I knew the other two were good teachers. I had a free period; six classes was a full schedule. Time came for lunch. I had sat outside of the choir room for lunch previously, but most of the people I would hang with had graduated. I went there and sat in my old place thinking nothing of the open door and my choir teacher inside. She had started at the beginning of the previous school year and up to then I had physically been in the same room as her twice. The choir teacher before her was never there during lunch, so we ate outside of the room because by the time we had access it would have been a waste to move. I expected nothing sitting on the cold floor, the choir room was the basement after all. Someone came to talk to the teacher. I watched, but still thought nothing of the situation. When they were leaving, she noticed be and asked if it was, in fact, me sitting there. I said it was. She told me to come in and sit on the stage (the room is also called the little theater). I was told the floor was far too cold, and I have to agree. This was a good beginning. One I remember quite fondly now. This is what I try to remember when there are firsts. They can turn out just as well as that one did. Sure there's the possibility of a nightmare, but it could always be the kind of first you cherish forever.