Double-Barreled Football

“I HAVE A DOUBLE-BARRELLED SHOTGUN LOADED UP FOR YOU GUYS!!!” Perhaps this was the wrong choice of words. At that point in the evening, anything I would have said would not have mattered. Ultimately, they became the exact words that needed to be said. Thus, ending my tenure as a High School Football coach.

This was our second-to-last game. It started off great. We had won the coin toss and elected to receive. I was deferring in every game up to that point. But since it was our biggest rivals, the Romans, I wanted to start off as aggressive as possible. Additionally, the visitors decided to try an onside kick. Maybe it was because our special teams were terrible. Or maybe it was Coach Jackson’s way of welcoming me to the league. The kicker, attempting the onside kick, kicked to his left, sending the ball to the sideline about three yards short of the 50-yard line, drawing a penalty and giving us starting position at the Romans’ 35. It was here that I wanted to unload our not-so-secret weapon: Victor, the running quarterback.

I had watched hours of game film on Wildcat formation and running quarterbacks. I studied the way quarterbacks read the defense and let Victor know how to run it. Wildcat, mistakenly, is referred to as an option run. I would describe it more as a designed QB run with an option to pass. This is how I planned my formation, giving Victor the option to pass if his running lanes were not open. We had tried this formation in previous games, as the fourth quarter ticked down and we were grabbing for meaningless points. But the game against LA required me to change our strategy, as I wanted to come out swinging, so to speak.

Victor lined up in shotgun, with fullback and halfback blocking on either side of him. He had his X, Y, and Z receivers with simple routes and shifts to throw off the defense. The first play started with Y and Z shifting outside to spread the defenders out. Juan, the center, delivered a perfect snap to Victor, who immediately rolled right. He pump-faked to Anthony (Y receiver), who was running a 5 route. This drew the QB spy to the Tight End, opening a wide lane for Victor, who took off running, easily gaining five yards. He rolled left on the next play, gaining another twelve yards, picking up the first down but taking a massive hit from a linebacker. Juan called the huddle and Victor started limping toward our sideline.

Victor had taken many hits throughout our season, always popping right back up, ready for the next play. I thought he was just walking off the hit and coming over for the next play. I said to him “Let’s go Purple 2 Spread, on two.” Victor said, “I can’t play, Coach.” It never even occurred to me that this kid would get hurt in such a way. But this shifted all momentum. We had not even practiced with our QB 2 all week.

We had lost every game of our season at this point. We faced some powerhouses, like the Bull Dogs, Pythons, and Huskies. The Huskies had blown us out, 56 to 0. This was the worst loss of my career thus far. The real reason we lost so many games was mainly due to the lack of support from our school. It had been known for a while that our school is very non-conducive when it comes to sports. Football has been in a sad state since 2015, when our league championship was stripped because of illegal recruiting practices. Since then, our principal has had no empathy for the program. When I started coaching in 2022, I aimed to change her mind and everyone else’s mind at this school.

I assisted the previous head coach. He was not a good coach. I learned very little from him; I mainly learned what not to do. He seemed more interested in making money off spirit packs and barely showed up to practices. When he did come to practice, all he did was complain about how we were “not ready” for any of the games. Schools are allowed up to 18 hours of practice a week. We barely had 6 hours. I was determined to change this during my time as head coach, which was thrusted upon me after the previous coach quit.

I wanted to get everyone on the same page; I wanted to take advantage of mornings and Saturday practices; I had gone through the trouble of starting an offseason workout through our after-school program, the only option available. As the season approached, none of these things helped us in any way.

We forfeited our first game due to a lack of cleared players. The offseason workout saw some participants, but a lot of them did not have the grades to play. The principal never approved the morning workouts during the semester. A lot of players never even joined until the week of the first game. We only had about 15 players cleared; well short of the 18 required. We forfeited, and it was a foreshadow of the struggles we would have to endure through the whole season.

We called the next two games at half time, experiencing too many injuries to continue, still being blown out in half a game. We saw some progress with clearing players, but also faced so much adversity. Kids were inconsistent and barely showed up for what little practice time we had. The team was doomed well before any games were played. But the sheer competitive nature of the players made me determined to get them a win.

We came close to a tie against the Monarchs in our third game. It was one of those games that came down to one play at the end of the game. The Monarchs had just scored their third touchdown, bringing the score to 20 to 14. They went for a two-point conversion that everyone, except the refs, thought was no good. Even their coaches were shaking their heads disapprovingly just before the side judge raised both arms to signal the touchdown. We got the ball back, drove down field (Wildcat formation), and scored, bringing it to 22 to 20. We went for two points. I told Victor to hand off to the running back for a run right up the middle. Instead, Victor told his center, Juan, that if he taps him twice on the thigh, he will take it in with a QB sneak. I had never told him to do this (I did not even know this was their plan until I watched the game film). Victor tapped his thigh, the o-line pushed forward, and Victor tried to sneak it in their, but his knee came down just before he could cross the goal line. Two-point conversion was no good. We lost.

Our next game was oddly similar. We played the Sentinels, ranked dead last in the state of California. Our players were so cocky before the game. When the Sentinels scored their first points of the season on their first drive, I knew we were doomed. But we were able to come back in the fourth quarter. There was 43 seconds on the clock, and we were down 23 to 16. Victor, who had been missing targets all day, connected to three different receivers, bringing us all the way to the 15-yard line. There was only 3 seconds left. Time for one fucking play. Victor tosses it to Phil but misses. A flag flies through the air. Pass interference on defense. We got a free play. I told Victor to find Phil again, our best player (besides Victor). The ball is snapped, Victor stands tall in the pocket, delivers a strike to Phil, catching it at the 2 yard line and falling backwards to get the touchdown. But a cornerback had him and kept him upright. No touchdown.

The game against the Romans was our last chance to get a win. This game presented us with the best chance at winning just one game. They were not the best team, but not the worst. We had to be aggressive. I planned to score first to set the tone and give us momentum. Best laid plans….

Victor comes out of the game; Cristian goes in. Cristian is a great player, but he has horrible game management. First play he allows a delay of game penalty. We get backed up. The next play results in a sack (not Cristian’s fault; o-line was never protecting the A-gaps). We went from driving down field to going backwards. The next play was an incomplete pass. I had told the players “We are not punting at all this game”, but we probably should have. Instead, Cristian threw another incomplete pass on fourth down. Turnover on downs.

Victor told me he can still play, but the medic said otherwise (an old ankle injury was becoming worse over time). Meanwhile, Cristian had to stay in at Linebacker on defense. Defense let the Romans drive down the field, running it right up the middle on us. They scored the touchdown and two-point conversion easily. I could hear the parents in the stands talking shit. “COME ON, COACH! WE WANT A WIN!”

It did not help that this was our homecoming game, with a pep rally being held for us earlier in the day. Everyone was rooting for us to win, but things were not happening like I expected. We had another scoreless drive, going for it on fourth and not converting. The Romans scored again, and again, and again. It was 56 nothing at half. I was trying to maintain my composure all night. I did not even yell at them during halftime. Maybe I should have.

The second half was a little better; we only allowed 12 more points, stopping two two-point tries on defense. But our offense could not get a footing. Cristian got hurt at the start of the third quarter. We had a lefty QB at third string who absolutely refused to play after QB’s 1 and 2 got hurt. Anthony, the Tight End, stepped up as QB. Then he got knocked the fuck down, hurting his throwing arm. He came out of the game and took his pads off, not wanting to exacerbate an old baseball injury. Cristian reluctantly came back in, nursing a hurt knee. The refs started running the clock (one of those slaughter rules meant to limit huge blowouts); the second half went by without a score from us.

The game ended. We shook hands with our opponents. After this, several Roman players went to the middle of our field and danced while doing a live video on Instagram. Absolutely disrespectful. I let Coach Jackson and his AD know how irritated I was. They acted like they would tell the kids not to do this, but I doubt they did. This was the worse loss of my career.

I gathered the coaches and players in the end zone. The assistant coaches told the players how disappointed they were. But when it was my turn to talk, something inside of me blew up. I yelled, very loudly. Some of the kids were startled by this. I yelled “THIS IS MY TEAM, AND YOU GUYS LET IT GO TO SHIT!”

From this point on, I cannot remember exactly what I said, except for the metaphorical shotgun I had loaded up for them. Eventually. I stopped yelling and walked away from the players. The principal and two assistant principals were right there. They neglected to support us all season, but they were there at that moment. The principal said, “You are not allowed to yell at the kids like that.” I was apologetic, but you cannot come back from something like that. She told me to go home, and we will have a meeting on Monday about this (where she would fire me as coach). I asked if I could apologize to my team. She said no, and that I should go home immediately. They were probably scared because of the mentioning of a firearm; they were scared I would go into active shooter mode. There were several parents who overheard the tirade of shouts. I can only imagine how pissed they were.

Maybe this sport is too intense for me. Maybe I am propping up a dying sport (at least at the high school level). Maybe I needed to be removed, bringing my stress levels back down. Maybe football is too much for me. Maybe I am more player than coach. Maybe the metaphorical shotgun was pointed at my own head.