Loneliness

To be alone is a learning experience. Though I have been alone for many a day and night, I finally feel this loneliness. We live and we learn. I fight the urges. To cut, to smoke, to die. Someday I'll be able to walk through life on my own. But that someday was not today. A light flashes, a sound crashes. I hear the pounding of the rain on the cold house. It will soon turn to snow. Ah yes, snow. White, pure, perfect snow. All things I could never be again. My legs lift my body off the cold tile and waddle me outside. I have my best friend in my hand. My silver, sharp best friend. The snow has piled up substantially. There must be a few inches. I step out of the house, the wind and cold give my uncovered arms and legs goosebumps. I sit in a small corner of my lot, by a tree. Taking my friend out, I smile at him. He slides across my arm. Again and again till there is blood pouring down my arm, staining the beautiful snow. People drive by, but cannot see my self destruction. I soon begin to feel the fuzzy feeling I long for. I move my friend closer to my veins, and slide slowly and perfectly across them. This is it. My end. I fall into a peaceful sleep and...