Never ending lies

Lying is something that I absolutely cannot stand. I grew up with my life filled with lies. My mother is a liar and an addict. Many time's she's chosen drugs over her own kids and I know it's the drugs.

I know it's the lies though too.

She tells herself that this will be the last time, just to help with the edge.

She tells other's that she's been clean for a certain amount of months

She tells her doctors that she doesn't have anything in her system.

She tells her kids it's because of us is why she does drugs.

She flatlines....

She is still breathing though, even now.

I want to believe it's the drugs, but her true self is showing.

She lied to keep my brother from going to jail, even though he deserved to.

She lied to the school about her children's attendance so she didn't have to drive them to school.

She lied to her children's doctors about medical problems to get another fix.

She lied to her job about her own mother being sick to get time off.

She lied to her husband that nothing was going on.

She lied to her children saying that she wasn't leaving.

She leaves....

She is still breathing though, even now.

My mother is my own personal demon and I don't think it'll ever stop... the lies will continue until her breathing stops, but even then, I'll love her.