Incarnation Paradox; The Veil of Forgetting and… The Knowing

There’s this memory of ‘knowing’ I have when I was a small child. I didn’t know at that time what it was that I was ‘knowing’, but looking back I understand that I have held onto this memory throughout my life as a treasured experience. I don’t recall how old I was at the time; however, it occurs to me that, I had to climb onto what I recall as the big white bowl to go to the bathroom. After crawling up to the top of that mountain, my arms straddled across the seat holding my tiny body out of the bowl, I was finally able to do it all by myself. I remember thinking, ‘I’m here? I’m here! I did it!’ I had this deep feeling of ‘knowing’. ‘Knowing’ that I was here in my physical body, as a human being. ‘Knowing’ that I, as small as I was, could have an impact on the world around me, and that I was here for a purpose. ‘Knowing’ so deeply, that this had always been the plan. Yet I didn’t even have the words to express it properly.

At that moment the feelings and emotions I felt were as if I had accomplished a major feat by just being here. It was like that feeling you get when you get home from a long trip; everything feels so inviting, comforting, and familiar. My mind was moved to a place in time I had seen before. It felt as if it was in a memory, but how? It was in a place that I had never been, at least not here on earth. Was it a memory that I had brought here with me? A memory that I had been gifted with of ‘knowing’ that brief moment of my journey prior to my descent and incarnation into this little body. There was the feeling of sheer joy and excitement that came from that moment. “I’m here! I did it! I’m remembered!” The memory comes back to me time and time again as if it is a gem that I get to carry with me in this lifetime.

There was a peaceful, stillness to the atmosphere around me as the iridescent, rainbow, gold light surrounded me. Off in the distance were numerous stars set so beautifully in the scene that it felt as if they were placed there by angels. The warm, penetrating, light, and distant stars embraced me like a child being swaddled by its mother. I could feel the energy of the light above me, below me, within me, and its interconnectedness to everyone, and everything around me, as if I were a jewel connected by the center of my soul to Indra's Net. In front of me, the light whirled into an opening, a portal that peered into the serene abyss. Love, light, and positive vibrations could be felt in every inch of space, and through every particle of my being.

The vast connected network of individuals around me moved separately but also as one. All working towards the same goal, with everyone having their area of expertise. There were others like me who stood in front of their own majestic portal, waiting for the right moment. These individual souls had the same patterns as me, the same vibrations, and perhaps some of the same experiences. Like me, they each had their own team of guides, angels, and lightworkers from various levels of the hierarchy. Although I could not determine the individual levels of where the team members were in the hierarchy, I knew and trusted my team well, as if they were my closest friends and family. Through our connection in the net that lay over us like a blanket of soft green laser lights, we had this deep ‘knowing’ of where we were going, and what we had each planned out as our own individual missions.

The realization came to me that I had been preparing for this moment as far back as I could remember. Just as my attention was brought back to the portal in front of me, I heard a soft, familiar voice ask me, “Are you ready? Now is the time you’ve been waiting for.” I nodded my head in agreement. The voice, standing next to me continued, “You know what you need to do?” Riddled with anticipation, I replayed my mission over and over again in my head, “Yes, I know it won’t be easy, this time will be different, and I‘m going to get my wings!” I replied. Some of the others had already stepped into the abyss. It was my turn. As I stepped forward into the unknown, I was halted as the final check revealed that something wasn’t as it should be, “Hold on, you’re missing one.” We don’t have time to go back over everything, you’re going to have to just pick one before you go.” I looked down at the long scroll, almost instinctively, without hesitation, I reached over and added the missing one. Without confirmation, I stepped forward into the opening. The light that surrounded the opening now closed in around me like a beautiful kaleidoscope of color and energy. Every part of my soul had this deep ‘knowing’ that I was headed to earth to incarnate onto the physical plane. I knew that once the portal closed completely, the veil of forgetting would be in place. I climbed down from the big white bowl, and thought to myself, “You must remember! You must remember this beautiful experience!"

Perhaps the veil of forgetting was the missing thing that I had intentionally left out until the last minute. I like to think that it was all part of the plan I had to be able to bring that memory with me, to support me, and to give me hope in times of need. Maybe, it was a gift from Source, or from my team that so kindly guided me here. Possibly it was pulled back into my subconscious mind by the series of violent events that happened to my mother when she was eight months pregnant with me. Someday in the future, my soul may know how and why I was honored with such an amazing memory. I have tried to remember beyond that point, but I cannot. Time and time again, this is the only memory I have of the ethereal realm. That one moment as I was about to incarnate into this body. For now, I set my intention on my mission, alongside the others who came to earth school at the same time. Somehow still ‘knowing’ that I am on the right path.