Thanks for Nothin’!

Of course I would just love to host Thanksgiving! You mean I get to spend days preparing several different courses, have distant cousins sleep on my couch and rummage through my medicine cabinet, argue with that one uncle who gets his news from Facebook, eat auntie’s horrifying casserole with a smile plastered on my face, and spend a couple of hours doing dishes after it all?

Well, let me think about it. And… I’m done thinking. No fuckin’ thank you.

Oh, you’re bringing wine. Make it a case of tequila instead and you've convinced me. Let’s get this over with.