Consumation

I sit in the shadows of eternal darkness. My penance. My punishment. I crave the daylight! No longer able to ignore the need festering in my soulless heart.

It ends today! This journey of endless sorrows. Oh how I longed for dawn! The bright sunlight of a clear day. To bask in the glory of the sun's rays as they bathe my being with warmth. With love.

I thought I was beyond that feeling. Felt that it's emotion was for the weak, those who had to have another to be whole. To be fulfilled.

Now at the end of my journey I realize too late the part I was missing. The part where I yearned for the touch of another, the feeling of completedness. The bliss of consumation that only comes from the other half of us. A binding union not mete in blood. But of an eternal bond. A boundless love that encompasses both. That leaves no room for doubt or fear.

I thought the cold and dark were all I needed. To feel the power of another's life as it flowed through my fingers. To have supreme control of all the things that make humans weak and fragile.

I told myself countless lies for centuries. Lies that temporarily fed the empty places in my frozen body.

Why did I have to meet her! Why did I find myself drawn to what I assumed were the frail beats of a weakened heart. Her blood was a symphony. Playing a music that stirring what I assumed was a passion to have inside me!

As she lay dying I glimpse it then, her overwhelming zeal to live in spite of her pain! Her fervent wish to see the dawn once more!

Now I sit here praying for dawn to cleanse me of this unforgivable sin. To purge myself from this world with finality. To combust with the certainty of my doom. It is only my just payment. Final and irreversible. For taking her from this world. I eagerly await the dawn...

I