Rule 5

Men treat you bad. It's their job. Women are sexually available to men. It's their job.

We played games. We played "house". The end result of "house" is that we were pretend-married to men who were angry that we didn't have everything ready for them at home and who hurt us. That we had been prepared and given to them in marriage. (This included us dressing up in her costumes and putting on make-up as part of the game.) The game progressed into our having multiple children, who were baby dolls. It progressed into us escaping and the men finding us and taking us home and raping us to punish us for leaving.

When she "punished" me for leaving, it was by violating me with the baby dolls.

The implication was that men are like this. It is the way.

Women are used. It is the way.

Even if we were adult women with children, if we tried to leave the system, they would find us. They would find us and kill our children and make us pay for leaving.

I still wake up screaming, thinking that he's in my room.

My boyfriend still has to promise me repeatedly that he's not going to find me.

I know that he's not looking, but part of me thinks that he's still going to kill me.

I'm so scared every day.

Because men hurt you. It is their job.

When women do not do their job, the men have to punish them.

And it is our fault. We made them do it.

Even though it would've happened no matter what we did, because it is their job.