Sinking

Ever felt like you were slowly sinking, despite your best attempts to tread water? Or that the boat you’re in is gradually going under as water levels rise and cover all port holes? Or that you’re swimming in water that’s becoming warmer with each minute, while a fear consumes that you will eventually be boiled alive? These are all descriptive analogies that embody a sinking feeling of hopelessness or a calculating depression that can threaten to consume someone and lead to an early demise.

I have, thankfully, only felt a sense of such severe symptoms once in my life while going through a bitter and ugly divorce. With such feelings permeating my being, it made routine, everyday life immensely difficult. As a result, I was lacking in the ability to make rational decisions and be my own advocate. Fortunately, I sought help and found it in counseling and an anti-depressant medication. I would like to stress that these two treatments did not cure my severe symptoms, but together, they enabled me to function somewhat adequately and make healthier decisions. Eventually, as my life settled back into place, I was able to discontinue the medication or treatments.

I was one of the fortunate ones. The sense of swimming in a cooker can easily be recognized as depression or mental illness, and others who struggle so profoundly with such disorders, often have problematic results with treatment strategies or medication treatments. I have a thirty-four year old daughter, who since the age of thirteen, has struggled relentlessly with achieving the correct chemical balance for a bi-polar disorder. Not only does she struggle with the key diagnosis of being bi-polar, but she is also faced with the challenges of other linked conditions that co-exist with the main disorder. All can be fine for days, weeks, or even months, and then all hell will break loose as a chemical imbalance or immunity to medication rears its ugly head – and the struggle begins anew.

I guess my daughter is also lucky. She is insured by a parent despite her advanced age. Also, a combination of medications also usually works for her to a large degree, making her condition somewhat manageable on a day to day basis. I am aware that there are many others who are not so fortunate to achieve success or partial success in a variety of treatments. For so many, insurance is not a possibility, as many are unable to work or qualify for assistance. I am more than sure that just seeking assistance under such dire symptoms is a hardship in and of itself. Also, many who do have insurance continue to struggle more than my daughter does with achieving a balance in treatment options.

I simply cannot imagine struggling on a day to day basis under such adverse and dramatic circumstances. I wish, in this country, we had more options accessible for those who do need help and that there was not such a stigma attached to mental disorders. I am sure that each one of us, at least on one occasion in our life, has felt the need to seek an additional means of support or help for we are all human, falling short of the mark, be it intentionally or through no fault of our own.

It goes without saying that this subject leaves the door open for a multitude of further comments, comparisons, and possibilities. I’ll just end this brief discussion by saying I wish no one ever had to feel this way or struggle so. Still, life is what it is, and unfortunately, it is not always easy and usually not fair either. These facts alone mean we should always be willing to listen, help, and assist those who are struggling. We should also be mindful of those who do not display such needs in an observable fashion. Listen with your hearts, minds, and all senses in addition to your hearing for you never realize what difference a small kindness could potentially make in someone’s life, especially in the life of someone who feels they are swimming in a cooker.