The Incidents

It’s difficult being in this work, when everyone is so fearful. Why do they give me those dreadful eyes? I am no different than your average, well-meaning person…It is blasphemous, prejudiced the way you all treat me.

It only makes it worse that I am armed with the best weapons: the drill, the anesthetics, forceps…my personal favorite being the wondrous rongeurs. Or perhaps it is the scalpel….? Anesthetics are quite satisfying themselves, but the newly hired anesthesiologist does most of that these days…

I come to the side door of the front desk, where a spectacled, olive-skinned woman of 40ish sat behind a desktop, folders, and clipboards.

"Who is next on the schedule, Armina?"

She scanned a sheet, clicks her long nails across the keyboard. "Jennie, Gol-erm, Jennie Golinksin...aya..vil..."

When no one stepped forward, she raised her voice. “Jennie Golinksinayavil."

A small grey-haired woman in a crisp navy blouse and blinding white capris rose timidly, took faltering steps toward the desk. "T-t-that's me."

Armina looked down her nose and directed, "To your left, please."

Hesitant shuffling approached the doorway, so I took my leave. I take the doctor-patient relationship quite seriously. They must wait until the professional deigns to see the patient—what would they think, if we awaited them like school children for our mothers…? It simply would not do.

I find a dark corner when Armina comes rushing around the bend. "Dr. Misha. Dr. Misha..."

"Yes, yes, Armina?"

"We have a problem..."

"Yes?"

"It is, it's a problem, Dr. Misha, I don't know what to do..."

"Armina, what is this problem?"

"It is with Dr. Jussiack..."

"Yes, the anesthesiologist? What is with Dr. Jussiack?"

"He cannot come, he is sick with the flu. I called Dr. Kim, the backup anesthesiologist, but he is at the other branch all day, he can't come, and we have two surgeries today..."

"Ah, yes, I see, Armina, I see. But this is not a problem, Armina. A problem is when you have no anesthesiologist on staff with surgeries on the agenda, this, no this is not a problem at all, Armina..."

"But...But, who is going to do the anesthetizing?"

"I will, do them Armina. It is no problem."

"But Dr. Misha...The Incident...We hired Dr. Jussiak because of The Incident, and Dr. Kim also, just in case, we don't...Well, no offense and all, but I just thought..."

"No worries, Armina, I am capable of using anesthetics. Go back to your desk, please, I need to prepare now for surgery."

"Erm...Of course...You know where they are? The anesthetics, I mean?"

"You're not my mother, Armina...I am quite capable."

"Oh--we could always call Dr. Issnar, I think it may be her day off, but she has done anesthetics...I know it's not her job, but..."

"Armina, everything is under control. I will let you know when Mrs. ....Golinokasolalavil is finished."

"Erm..." Armina shifted feet. "Okay, then."

***

I visited Jennie shortly thereafter.

“Hello, Ms…Ms Jennie, I am going to be performing your surgery today.“

Jennie, for her part, attempted to smile. “I’m a little nervous, Dr. Misha.”

“And why are you nervous, Ms. Jennie?”

”Well, um…to be perfectly honest…your reviews, Dr. Misha. They’re not very good.”

I frowned. “Really?”

”No, and I know you must be asking yourself, ‘Well, then, Jennie, why did you come to me if I have such bad reviews?’“

”I was not, actually, thinking that…”

Jennie barreled onward, ”And, well, Dr. Misha, you see, yours is the only that will take my insurance, you see. The only dentist, or oral surgeon, I mean.”

”Mmhmm…mmhmm, well…”

“I would have liked to go across the street, you know, to Dr. Hiram’s. He has wonderful reviews! Some of yours in particular, were concerning, and I just wondered if we could discuss them, just real quick, to ease my mind…“

”Jennie, would you like your orthognathic surgery done today, or would you prefer to reschedule?”

”My…I’m sorry, what was that? Orthonath…? Oh, I would be like to seen today, yes. But I’m just not quite sure I caught that, that part about the ortho-something-surgery…”

”Very well, then. You didn’t eat or drink anything today?”

“No, no, that’s all good, Dr. Misha…”

”Wonderful, just wonderful, Jennie.” A thrill as I gathered my tools, prepared the anesthetics…An electric thrill tingled through my body, my digestive system rumbling in agreement…Indeed, indeed…It was turning out to be a lovely day.

***

The next morning, Armina the desk clerk comes hurdling towards me, as she tends to do.

“Dr. Misha? Dr. Misha! I need to speak to you, we have a problem…”

”You and your problems, Armina,” I note with a sigh.

“Jennie is suing you for the surgery you did, the orthognathic that was supposed to be a dental extraction…”

“Oh my, dental extraction. I had no idea. Perhaps we should reschedule for this.“

”Well, technically, I don’t think that would be advisable for the moment…”

“Of course, of course. She must recover first. Did she mention how she was feeling after the orthognathic procedure?”

”Quite numb, apparently.“

”Good, good, that is quite a normal reaction. No problem here, no problem at all, Armina. Schedule her for a few weeks, and we can see how she is progressing...”