A SUBTLE ACHE

This is a slow burn and my eyelids are heavy, having fought for so long.. Wounds of ANY variation are, to me, everlasting, gaping, weeping. Each and every avenue seemingly leads me to a dead end; concrete walls and no weapons. So I exist, physically unarmed, trudging along, prayers the only communication in which I engage. I don't cry, I don't scream for reprieve- I don't make so much as a conversational peep anymore. An internal dialogue is all I have, stretching thinly between us. IT'S ENOUGH. Enough to carry me through each day. Enough to protect me through each night. It is MORE than enough. It is the ONLY thing I can trust, unabashed. I am reliant upon a sole person and He doesn't leave me… He doesn't abandon me. He never HAS. He never WILL. And though His love is not contingent upon what I can GIVE Him materialistically, through this life AND eternally, I OWE HIM ALL. All that I was. All that I am. All that I will become. Because in Him, I am a creature, anew. Still, though… Something wicked this way comes, bringing with it a subtle ache.. But He is my anchor against it and I fear no wind nor wave. I AM FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE. And I am not afraid.